Project Alpha
by yogurtpo3
Summary: In which Todd goes to rescue Dirk from Blackwing, but ends up getting himself captured. Now detective and assist-friend must rely on each other's strength while they wait for Amanda and Farah to come and rescue them. Though Amanda also may or may not ever forgive her brother.
1. Chapter 1 - The rescue

Author's Note: Cross-posting here so I can keep all my various fics in one place. Plus the DGHDA fic section is so small here, can't hurt to post more!

* * *

Dirk Gently wrapped his arms around his knees, shivering slightly at the cold air in his cell.

 _All alone…_

The words kept crossing his mind, almost like a chant.

 _You're all alone, no one's coming to get you._

He'd lost count of the number of days or weeks it had been since Riggins' young assistant (though he suspected that he was no longer working under Riggins) had ambushed him from outside the diner. The diner where he had been sharing a meal with his best assist-friend, Todd, and his friend, Farah, discussing their plans for starting up his new detective agency.

Friends… he had had friends… the universe had finally given him something valuable, something precious, something hopeful, only to in the blink of a second yank it all away again, putting him back into this cell, into this existence of blank walls, mostly nameless faces and test after test.

"What's under the middle card?"

"Where has the mouse gone to in the maze?"

"Which button opens the box?"

Endless questions and exercises that both bored him and tired him out at the same time. He knew from experience it was better for him to cooperate than to not (what they did to him when he didn't do as asked, he shuddered to remember). Only this time, everything seemed worse. When he had last been here, and this was almost all he could remember, he had only longed for something different. But now, now that he knew what that something different was, now that he knew it included people who he cared about, and _friends_ , actual _friends…_ it _hurt_. Not only physically, but deep inside. As though his heart was missing something… maybe he had a hole there… and if he was completely honest with himself, it kind of felt like a very Todd Brotzman sized hole.

 _Todd's not coming._

His thoughts taunted him again.

 _He hates you. He wanted nothing to do with you after the Patrick Spring case._

But that wasn't true. Todd had come back. Todd had picked him up at the hospital. Todd had said himself that he was his friend...

* * *

Suddenly a flutter of footsteps outside his cell drew his attention, and Dirk lifted his head, gulping as they came nearer.

"...Todd! You… you came!" he spluttered out in disbelief, heart beating wildly at the sight of his friend, nay, his best friend, appearing before his cell. Todd was scruffier than he remembered, red-rimmed bright blue eyes standing out against short messy dark curls and a slight stubble. He held a gun at his side in one hand, a small card in his other hand, which he slid into the lock of Dirk's cell door. A strange beep, the sound of a latch snapping, and the door opened. Next thing Dirk knew, Todd's arms were around him, pulling him up onto his feet before he even had the chance to pinch himself to make sure this was not a dream.

"Come on, we don't have much time," said Todd, grasping Dirk by the hand, dragging him behind him as he ran. Dirk nodded numbly, excitement and glee filling his senses despite the circumstances. Todd was here. Todd had come to rescue him. Todd cared enough about him to come and rescue him! He allowed Todd to drag him along, ducking and diving around various corridors until they stopped at a vent high on the wall. Todd jumped, fingers just slipping through the gaps of the vent door to pull on it, the door falling back down with him with a clang. He glanced around nervously, sighing in relief when no one came running.

"Quick, get in," he whispered, crouching to give Dirk a leg up. Dirk didn't waste another moment, hoisting himself up into the vent, before turning back around to help Todd in. Todd passed the heavy metal door to Dirk, scrambling into the vent himself with a jump. Quickly he replaced the door from the inside, just managing to snap it shut before footsteps were heard passing them. Both men held their breath in anticipation, only daring to move once the steps had faded into the distance.

* * *

They crawled further and further in through the dark and cold tunnel, lit only by the screen of Todd's phone, which he was reading a map of some sort off. They had reached a fair way before Dirk turned back around, his curiosity and need to check and double check that Todd really was here overwhelming his will to just keep going before they were caught.

"Todd… tell me I'm not dreaming. You're really here? And… and this a rescue? Is there a plan? And oh, where'd you get the gun? And who's Ken?" he asked all at once, though mostly, he was just glad Todd was _here_ and he could talk… _actually talk_ to someone that wasn't just asking him questions about cards and buttons. Todd paused for a moment, brows scrunching slightly in his Todd-like way, which Dirk thoroughly missed.

"Uh… well, I guess you can call this a rescue. This vent should lead us outside the facility. We'll meet up with everyone once we're outside."

"Everyone?" Dirk gasped, his eyes widening. "Is Farah here?"

"Uh huh, Farah, Amanda, Ken and one of the Rowdies, Vogel. They've gone to rescue the others. Ken is the guy we met at the Spring mansion, you remember him? He was the one with that strange lady who wanted to kill you? She's been kept here too, and the rest of the Rowdies as well… Vogel and Amanda, they managed to escape before they were caught."

Dirk nodded as he took the information in. So the Rowdy 3 (well, three of them) and that Bart lady had been kept here too. He had an idea they were something like him. Something that they wanted to "test".

"Anyway, Ken's routed the security system to distract them for a while. As for the gun, Farah gave it to me," Todd answered, frowning nervously as he adjusted the safety on the unfamiliar weapon before sliding it carefully back into his belt. "I'm uh… kind of glad I didn't have to use it."

Dirk beamed. Of course, Farah.

"Todd?"

"Yeah?"

"I just want you to know that I'm so glad to see you," Dirk replied earnestly. "For a while I didn't know if… if anyone was going to come."

"Of course we were going to come, it just took a while to-" Todd began to exclaim, before his eyes softened. "So uh… how have you been, Dirk? Are… are you alright?"

Dirk smiled warmly at the worry in Todd's eyes.

"I've been...well… not too good I guess. But definitely much better now that you've come."

Todd nodded, sighing briefly in relief.

"Come on, we should get going. We don't have much time."

* * *

They continued to crawl through the vent, it seeming to go on forever to Dirk, though he knew it couldn't have been more than a few minutes. He was glad Todd seemed to know where he was heading through the maze-like structure, tugging on him from behind whenever he turned the wrong way. He really did have the very best, and now very heroic rescue-y, assist-friend there ever was. Dirk sighed contently when he finally spotted a panel at the end of one of the tunnels, somehow just _knowing_ that they had found the way out to freedom. He grinned, turning to the man behind him.

"Look Todd, we've…"

Dirk paused.

"Todd?" he asked, realising that Todd hadn't followed him for some paces and was now crouched back a good few metres away. Dirk quickly backed up, turning to face Todd when he reached him, his breath catching when he noticed in the slight glow of light, Todd's tightly shut eyes, his features grimacing in pain as he took shaking chattering breaths through his lips.

"Not now, not now…" the man seemed to be muttering softly.

"Todd… what… Oh gosh, Todd! Your hands!" exclaimed Dirk, panicked when he spied a layer of icy white covering both his friend's hands, and somehow quickly climbing up his wrists. Todd's eyes widened in shocked at him, teeth still chattering as he stammered.

"Y..Y...You s...see...see it?"

"Well… yes… is…. is that ice?… But… Todd… how?"

Todd's mouth opened again to answer him, only to bite back a muffled scream as he collapsed to the ground. His trembling form curled into a ball, the ice now creeping up past his elbows.

"P… pills…pocket," he finally managed to wheeze out between his whimpers, and Dirk quickly dove into action, fishing his hands through each of Todd's pockets until he felt the small tube in the front pocket of Todd's jeans. Not knowing exactly how many was needed, he fumbled a little with the safety cap before shaking out two pills into his hand and pressing them into Todd's mouth. Todd grimaced, swallowing them dry, still wracked with shivers, teeth chattering. Dirk could only stare helplessly for the next few moments, until finally, and painfully slowly, he saw the ice begin to shrink back down Todd's arms and into his hands, before disappearing altogether, though still leaving him cold and pale.

"What… was that?" were the first words out of Dirk's lips, though he felt like maybe he already knew, and he didn't want it to be. Todd managed to uncurl himself, stiff fingers still shaking slightly.

"A… a pararibulitis attack… I'm… pretty sure... though… I don't know why you… you could see it too?" he answered, breathing hard, exhausted from what had happened, and still shivering.

"But… but you don't have pararibulitis. You said you… that you lied..." Dirk paused, swallowing hard.

"Yeah… I did. But now… well, it first happened at the diner when you disappeared…" replied Todd, eyes downcast. "Karma right?" he snorted. Then a whisper.

"It's nothing I don't deserve."

"Todd," Dirk sighed sadly, wanting nothing more at that moment than to wrap his assist friend into his arms. He didn't though, because he knew that _Todd_ would likely not appreciate that.

"Oh, shit!" Todd suddenly exclaimed when he glanced at his phone. "We've got to go, come on!"

He shook his still icy and numb looking hands a couple of times before getting back onto his knees, determinedly beckoning Dirk forward.

Dirk nodded, his mind still racing in concern for his friend, but knowing there was a more important task at hand. Slowly he started crawling forward again, inching towards the light, towards freedom.

* * *

In hindsight, Dirk knew it had been all too easy. Knew that the universe probably didn't like him enough to just let him escape like that. Because just as he kicked open the metal barrier and into the cool freshness of the open night air, there was Riggins' assistant, as well as five other rather serious and large looking men. More importantly, there were five guns pointed directly at him and Todd.

"Don't please, oh please, just don't shoot," he quickly exclaimed, putting his hands up in surrender. Looking beside him, he saw Todd's hand brush at the gun at his side for the barest of seconds, before he too, reluctantly put his hands up.

Friedkin, Dirk's brain unhelpfully recalled for him now. Riggins' former assistant, the man's name was Friedkin. Friedkin and his men wasted no time in pulling them both out from the vent, holding them down on the ground.

"Sorry man, just doing my job," the uniformed man informed them, shrugging as he pulled Todd roughly to his feet. Beside him, another man in uniform dragged Dirk to his.

The universe, Dirk decided at that point in time, hated both him and Todd.


	2. Chapter 2 - Rather interesting

Major General Wilson was stressed. Somehow, a group of ragtag amateurs had managed to infiltrate her top secret facility, distract everyone with some sort of virus on their security system, and steal a number of dangerous subjects from them. Studying the security footage for the umpteenth time, she slowly raised her hand to rub her temple, trying to ward off the impending headache.

"So which ones are missing?" she turned to ask Dr Schultz, the new head of the experimentation team at the facility. "And which ones are dangerous?"

"Projects Marzanna, Incubus and Icarus are missing. And all of them have the potential to be dangerous, Major. Though out of all of them, Marzanna is of most concern."

Her radio sounded before she could ask for further details.

"Sergeant Friedkin reporting, ma'am," Friedkin's voice came through down the line. Wilson sighed. Of all people to head the operation. Still… for whatever he lacked in brains, the man got things done.

"Yes, Sergeant?"

"I have managed to recapture Icarus, ma'am."

"Just Icarus, Sergeant?"

"Yes ma'am. Incubus and Marzanna were not with them."

Wilson gritted her teeth.

"Have everyone keep searching, Sergeant. And bring Icarus in."

"Yes ma'am. Uh, ma'am?"

"Yes?"

"We've also managed to detain the male who assisted in Icarus's escape. Should I… dispose of him?"

Wilson's eyes narrowed.

"Not yet, bring him in also."

* * *

Dirk blinked sharply at the harsh white light when they removed his blindfold. Glancing around once his eyes adjusted, he sighed, hearing the click of the lock, the familiar walls of his cell once more surrounding him. His attention was drawn at the sound of another door closing with a clang and a click, turning to see that they had placed Todd into the adjacent cell. A prim looking lady stood outside, glaring all too seriously at both him and Todd. Beside her, another lady whom Dirk recognised as Dr Schultz, also stood.

"So these are the subjects?" the prim lady asked Friedkin.

"Yes, Major. Subject to the right is Icarus. Subject to the left is the subject who tried to steal the subject. I think... Uh, Todd. His name is Todd."

"Todd." The Major nodded to herself. "Where are the others, Todd?" she asked, turning towards the man. Todd swallowed hard at being addressed, glancing nervously at Dirk.

"Why are you holding us here? And what others… I… I don't know what you're talking about," he answered, frowning. "Even if you're the CIA, you… you can't just kidnap people and keep them here like this."

The Major smirked, nodding curtly as an expressionless man handed a tablet to her.

"We have clearance to do many things, Mr-" she paused, glancing down at the tablet. "Brotzman. Let's see… Todd Brotzman, person of interest with the police?" she read, glancing up at Todd momentarily. "Looks like you've done some questionable things in your lifetime, Mr Brotzman," she continued. "Pretty normal family from what I can see, mother, father, sister… interesting family condition though. Pararibulitis. Your sister has the condition, and you used to have it too?" she continued, her fingers brushing the console.

"The condition is rather interesting, Major," spoke up Dr Schultz, reading over her shoulder.

"Hmm… perhaps," hummed the Major. "However he doesn't have it anymore, and despite being a person of interest with the police department, he actually doesn't seem very interesting."

"Oh, yes, Todd is not very interesting _at all_. In fact, he's the most uninteresting guy you will ever meet... normal in almost every way… well, except that he is really brave, and sometimes nice, and a really good assistant. But really… you should just let him go," Dirk spoke up. "He doesn't _belong_ here."

The Major glanced towards Dirk, raising her brow at him.

"Look, it's just me you're interested in, isn't it? If you let Todd go, I can stay and keep doing your tests and anything else you want."

"You're right, Todd is of no interest to us. However… I do have four other dangerous subjects on the loose, and Mr Brotzman here might know where they are hiding."

"I told you, I don't know," Todd responded, glaring at the Major.

"None of that now, Brotzman. We have ways to make you talk, you know."

The Major nodded to Friedkin. Todd backed away when the man entered his cell, a gun raised in his hand.

"Wait, no… Todd doesn't know anything. Please, it's me you want. I'll stay here, I won't even try to escape again. Please, just _let Todd go_ ," Dirk begged, panicked.

"You have 5 seconds to start talking, Brotzman," warned the Major. "Five, four-"

"I… I really don't… don't know," was Todd's reply again, this time eyes wide, stumbling over his words.

"Todd tell them… _something,_ " yelped Dirk.

"... two, one," finished the Major.

Friedkin lifted his gun. Dirk screamed, shutting his eyes, horrible images of his dead friend covered in blood filling his mind.

 _Todd… no no no, Todd… please, not Todd._

He slowly opened his eyes again when instead of a gunshot, all he heard was a click and a spring. Todd fell to the ground with a grunt, wincing, one hand pressed over his arm where Friedkin had apparently shot some sort of small dart at him, which was connected to his gun device with a long wire.

"This is your last chance, Brotzman. Tell us where the other subjects are," said the Major. From his vulnerable position, Todd stared back at the woman.

"I said I don't know," he repeated.

The next few moments blurred in Dirk's mind. Friedkin pressed a button on his device. A zap, and Todd yelped, his body shaking and strained. The Major had asked her question again, and Todd had continued to shake his head. Another press of the button, and more screaming followed.

Then suddenly, he saw it. A flicker of a flame lighting up in Todd's palm. Next thing he knew, Todd was engulfed by fire, writhing and screaming even more as he burned and burned. And Dirk was yelling and sobbing, getting down to his knees to push at the bars separating them, trying his best to reach across to his friend.

"What's happening?" Dirk heard the Major ask when he turned sharply to her, pleading with her to stop.

"I… I'm not doing anything, Major," said Friedkin, frowning. "Should I continue?"

"Wait Sergeant. Major, if you could release him, there's something I want to see."

Dr Schultz voice. From the corner of his eyes, Dirk saw the Major nod in agreement. Friedkin pushed another button on his device, the darts retracting. Helplessly, Dirk could only watch as Todd continued to writhe around, screams fading when he began to tire, though the flames still engulfed him. Finally, after possibly the longest moment Dirk could ever recall in his life, the screaming stopped, Todd's eyes rolling into the back of his head, unconscious. A shaky sob escaped from Dirk's lips when the fire disappeared at once, leaving the slumped form of his friend on the cold concrete ground.

Dr Schultz turned to the Major, a smile making it's way to her lips.

"I say, he is actually _rather_ interesting, Major Wilson. Even if he doesn't know where Marzanna and Incubus are, I would very much like to keep him," she requested, her tone causing a shiver to run down Dirk's spine. Major Wilson glanced down at Todd for a moment, head tilted as she studied his form.

"Very well. We will halt the interrogation for now. I expect a report and research plan on my desk by 2300," she stated. "Sergeant, keep the action teams searching for Marzanna and Incubus," she continued, turning to Friedkin.

"Yes, ma'am," the man responded. Turning abruptly, the Major walked off, her heels clicking with every step. Friedkin and the rest of the men followed behind her. Dr Schultz paused, giving Todd and Dirk one last glance before leaving also.

* * *

Todd groaned when he woke, swallowing hard to ease the dry discomfort in his throat. Glancing around, he frowned in confusion for a few moments, taking in the white walls, metal bars and cold concrete, before his eyes finally landed on a certain Dirk Gently, staring at him from the adjacent cell. Oh yes, that's right, the attempted rescue gone wrong.

"Todd? Are you awake? Oh Todd," Dirk exclaimed as soon as Todd shifted. Todd slowly rose, wincing at the sharp pain in his arm. Frowning, he stretched gingerly, feeling the familiar spasms in his muscles that followed every pararibulitis attack. No... he remembered now. Not just one attack this time, two, both ice and fire. And also whatever that taser thing the CIA used on him was. Todd shivered. The universe was definitely trying to get back at him for all the asshole things he had done in his lifetime.

"Dirk… what happened?… I mean… why am I…" Todd trailed off as his mind continued to adjust.

"You… you came to rescue me, but we got caught. And then they wanted you to tell them where everyone else was, and they were hurting you with this electric thingy, and then you burst into fire and it was _awful_ … it must've _felt awful_ … I'm _so sorry_ , Todd. How are you?"

Todd heaved as he pushed himself to his knees, crawling over to the side of his cell where Dirk sat, thick round metal bars separating them. Dirk was pale. Red-rimmed bloodshot eyes staring widely at him.

"Been better, I guess," he muttered, sighing as he studied the cell. "I'm… I'm okay," he added when Dirk looked even more distressed at his response. "Really. I'm fine." He lifted his lips up into a half-smile. "Have you heard any news about the others?"

Dirk shook his head. "Do you think they'll come back for us?"

Todd shrugged.

"It took us a while to figure out how to get through the security last time. Ken was the one who found the way in, and created a way to cause a distraction."

Dirk nodded. "I don't want anyone else to get hurt," he whispered. "But I can't let you stay here with me. They'll come back for you, right?"

"Dirk, if anyone comes, it will be for both of us," said Todd earnestly, his brow creasing. "I… when you were gone… I… we've all… missed you."

Dirk's eyes lit up slightly, a small smile tugging on the edge of his lips.

"I missed you too, Todd." He took a deep breath, calmer now. "Farah will come for us. And she'll have a plan, a really good plan where we don't get captured. And Amanda. Amanda will come too."

Todd smiled at the mention of his sister, his eyes wistful.

"If Amanda comes, it'll definitely be for you, not me."

Dirk frowned, studying his friend in concern.

"Is she still angry at you?" He remembered that Todd had briefly told him about how badly it went with Amanda on their way to the diner.

Todd stared at the ground, nodding.

"I don't know if she'll ever stop being mad at me," he sighed. "Not that I don't deserve it."

"But you're her brother, Todd."

"Exactly. I'm her brother, and I lied to her… and now, knowing what pararibulitus actually feels like… and thinking about all those times she suffered those long attacks because I didn't have enough money to get her meds…"

Todd turned away, quickly blinking back tears.

"You're a good brother, Todd," reassured Dirk. "You care for Amanda."

"No, I'm a shitty brother, and you know that," Todd scowled. Dirk drew in a deep breath.

"Amanda will come around. I know it," he smirked smugly.

"And you know because you're psychic?"

Dirk's smirk turned into a petulant pout.

"No, I'm definitely _not_ psychic. And plus, it's better to have hope that Amanda will forgive you one day than just give up on it, right? Plus, she knows you've got pararibulitis now, so technically, if we discount time, then you didn't completely lie, even though past you that was doing the lying didn't know it at the time-"

"She doesn't know."

"What?"

Todd drew a careful breath, wondering what it was about Dirk that always made him so darn honest about everything.

"She doesn't know about my pararibulitis… after everything I've done, I don't deserve to be anymore of a burden, to anyone. And definitely not her. Plus, I don't want her to forgive me just because she feels sorry for me."

"But didn't you spend any time together planning the rescue? I've only seen you for less than a day Todd, and even I have already seen you have an attack… twice." Dirk gulped, recalling Todd's screams again as the fire engulfed him.

"I have good days and bad days... To be honest, today has probably been one of the worst. Plus, it's easier to hide my attacks when I have places to hide in when I feel one starting… and Vogel knows, he's helped me a few times, though he wasn't happy about it."

"Vogel?"

"Yeah, the Rowdies do the weird thing they do to you to us… but it's pretty good at stopping the attacks. I'm glad Amanda's found them… they can help her."

"But Todd… you realise you're lying to her again," Dirk quietly pointed out. Todd scowled.

"I didn't lie. I just haven't told her everything and she doesn't need to know. And she's not going to find out either, Dirk, because you're not telling her."

"Well," Dirk shook his head smugly. "I'll decide that when she comes to rescue us."


	3. Chapter 3 - Tests

The sound of a swinging cell door woke Todd the next morning (well, he assumed it was morning, it was hard to tell without any windows), a flurry of men in lab coats entering Dirk's cell and dragging him out of his cot.

"Well, good morning to you too, you're early today," Dirk chirped, really entirely too friendly for the way he had been so rudely woken, Todd thought. "Now, just give me a moment and I'll be right with you," the man continued to babble as they roughly escorted him out of his cell.

"Hey wait, where're you taking him? Dirk!" exclaimed Todd at once, hurriedly shaking the sleep from his body to reach for his friend. "Dirk?"

"Don't worry, Todd, I'll be okay." He yawned. "I'll probably be back in the evening," Dirk reassured him, the men continuing to wordlessly drag him away. Todd craned his neck to glance down the corridor, frowning as Dirk disappeared from his view. Shaking the rest of the sleep from his mind, he looked down, realising he was still wearing the same clothes from yesterday, his sleeve still stained and torn where the crazy sergeant had shot him. Timidly, he sniffed his shirt, wondering if they had anywhere to let him take a shower. He then snorted at his own thought. Yeah, because personal hygiene was his biggest concern right now. A sudden flurry of footsteps outside caught his attention, another group of lab coated men appearing before him, this time opening the gate to his own cell. Todd shrunk back a couple of steps, though the men paid him no attention, simply flanking him from both sides as they had Dirk and pulling him out down the corridor.

* * *

"Mr Brotzman, my name is Dr Schultz. I believe we met briefly yesterday? Don't worry, we're not interrogating you today. We're just going to be going through some baseline tests."

Todd glanced wearily at the lady who greeted him. The men in lab coats had taken him to a showering facility, surprisingly, where they had allowed him to clean himself, though disconcertingly leaving him little privacy as he did so. They had then taken his clothes and everything he had from him, simply handing him a hospital gown to wear. Next they had escorted him to the bright lit clinical room they were now in, filled with stainless metal, white sheets and a chair in the middle that reminded him way too much of the dentist.

"There's… nothing wrong with me though. I… I just need my pills. Could I get them back… your people, they took them."

"They will no longer be necessary, Todd," she simply replied, before nodding to the lab coated men, who took Todd by the arms and pushed him onto the sophisticated dentist chair. Todd pulled back instinctively, struggling harder when they began tying restraints around his wrists and ankles, securing him to the chair. Gulping, he turned to the doctor, a shiver running down his spine at the cold smile she presented him.

"There now, no need to worry. It'll be in your best interest to cooperate," Dr Schultz told him, picking up a syringe. Todd's couldn't help but watch with wide eyes as she pushed his arm down, squeezing until the vein popped at the crook of his elbow. He had only felt the beginning of the prick before the syringe suddenly turned into a scalpel in her hands, gouging into his arm as rivers of blood ran out.

Todd screamed.

* * *

Dirk sighed in relief as soon as he saw Todd while he was being escorted back to his cell. He had been worried about Todd the whole day, not knowing if they had decided to interrogate him again. Still, Todd looked well enough, sitting on his cot, though staring intently at the ground.

"Todd, I'm back," he greeted cheerfully once his cell door had been shut with a loud clang. Todd glanced up at his greeting. Dirk noticed that he had changed into the same grey shirt and pants that he himself had on, Blackwing standards.

"I see you've been given the same dashing wardrobe. Though I really would prefer my own clothes of course. A bit of colour never hurt anyone, but dull and grey seems to be all they offer around here sadly… Oh no, Todd! I just remembered that they took your shirt! I mean, my shirt… the Mexican Funeral one you gave me? Hopefully they haven't destroyed it. Maybe we can rescue the shirt too when Farah and Amanda come? But hey, at least I didn't get shot in it!" Dirk babbled, taking a seat on the ground at the side of his cell so he could face Todd. Todd turned towards him, his lips curling up slightly into a warm smile, though his eyes, Dirk noticed, seemed distant.

"Dirk... they're going to come, aren't they? Farah and Amanda and everyone… they're going to come and get us out, right?" Todd asked, his eyes suddenly widening as he glanced at Dirk. Dirk paused, concerned for a moment, but nodded slowly.

Todd nodded with him, swallowing hard.

"So uh… how was today? Where did they take you in the morning?" he asked.

"Same as usual… just tests and things. Really rather _boring_ to be honest. Though that's better than... nevermind, " Dirk shook his head, frowning. "How about you? They didn't interrogate you again, did they?" His eyes widened.

"No, I think they've given up on me telling them where the others are. To be honest, I wasn't actually lying when I said I didn't know. Farah had the details of the location, not me." Todd paused, taking a breath.

"They let me shower and gave me these," he continued, pulling in disgust at the grey shirt. "And they took my pills."

"Did you have an attack?"

Todd's eyes shifted, not answering, and Dirk felt a lump rise in his throat.

"Dirk?" Todd suddenly spoke up.

"Yes, Todd?"

"Do you mind maybe telling me about that case you solved again… the one with the couch?" he asked.

"Well… yes, of course," Dirk answered, glancing curiously at his friend. Todd _never_ asked to hear about his past cases. In fact Dirk was pretty sure he tried to do everything to make Dirk stop whenever he started retelling one.

"Thanks," Todd simply whispered quietly, bowing his head to stare at the ground again.

* * *

The next day, Dirk returned to find Todd again sitting on his cot, though this time looking slightly paler than he remembered, and clutching one of his arms protectively.

"Todd?" he beckoned to his friend once his escorts had left them alone. Dirk frowned worriedly when he spied various bruises and marks on the arm Todd was protecting.

"Dirk… when they take you for your tests… do they… do they hurt you?" whispered Todd, glancing to his side at Dirk. Dirk felt his mouth go dry.

"Well… no... I mean, not always… Usually only when I don't get the answers right and they think I'm doing it on purpose… so they give me tests where there's more of an incentive to perform, I guess? But I've actually done surprisingly well lately, so they haven't these few days." He wasn't lying. Even he had been surprised himself with how accurate and clear his hunches had been the past two days.

Todd nodded silently, a slight shiver running through his body.

"Todd… did they… take you for tests?"

Todd glanced away, slowly nodding again, his eyes staring straight ahead at the ground before him. The sound of footsteps interrupted Dirk from asking Todd any further questions though, a uniformed man appearing with two trays. He approached their cells, unceremoniously slipping a tray in each before walking away. Todd looked at Dirk, a small strained smile on his lips.

"Looks like it's Elmers on the menu again," he told him, slowly getting up to take his tray from the door.

"Elmers?" asked Dirk.

"You know, the gluggy glue they give you at school?"

Dirk stared blankly back.

"Oh… they probably they don't use Elmer's in England huh… Never mind…"

"It's not that... It's just that I've never been to school… so maybe they do? I wouldn't know," said Dirk, shrugging.

"You've never been to school?"

Dirk shook his head.

"Not really, I mean, I still did _learn things_. My mother taught me privately as a child… and when I was here, in Blackwing, I had a teacher who tutored me between the tests…" Dirk trailed off.

"When did they take you? I mean, how old were you?" asked Todd softly.

"Hmm..." Dirk paused. He wasn't asked about his time at Blackwing very often. "I think I was maybe eleven?"

"Eleven?" Todd looked up alarmed. "But you were just a kid.. How did they... I mean, how could they?"

Dirk gulped, a red blush filling his cheeks as he looked away awkwardly.

"Sorry Dirk, I didn't mean to-"

"It's okay, Todd… I was living with my mother, in Transylvania actually, and one day they came and said that they could fix me. See, I was always a bit… different… that was one of the reasons why my mother kept me at home. Anyway, I thought maybe if there was a way to be normal, I could be like the other kids… go to school, have friends and all that, so we agreed. After that, I was brought here. By the time I was old enough to realise that they didn't really know how to fix anything… well, I was already ready for university."

Both men fell silent again, Todd guiltily remember all the times he had yelled at Dirk and told him that he wasn't his friend and didn't want him around.

"I'm sorry, Dirk," Todd finally spoke, reaching through the bars to lay a comforting hand onto Dirk's shoulder. Dirk looked up, smiling, once again thanking the universe for giving him such a wonderful assist-friend as Todd.

"It's alright, Todd. I have a friend now, don't I?"

Todd rolled his eyes, a genuine smile also crossing his features.

"Yes Dirk, you do."

* * *

The third day, Todd wasn't in his cell when Dirk returned. Dirk had asked one of the lab coated men escorting him where Todd was, but all he had received was a blank expression as he wordlessly locked his cell. Dinner was served soon after and still no Todd. Dirk was nauseously worried by then, mindlessly spooning the lumpy porridge, but unable to really eat any of it. He had just put the bowl down in defeat when he finally heard footsteps coming down the corridor.

"Todd!" he exclaimed at the sight of his friend, relief and dread filling him at once. Relief that Todd was back, but dread at the condition he saw him in. Todd was curled up on a gurney, being wheeled down the corridor, whimpering softly. Once they were closer, Dirk saw the cause of his distress, burns running down Todd's hands to his feet, electricity still zapping through them causing the man to spasm and cry out in pain.

"What happened to him? What did you do to him?" Dirk tearfully asked the men as they unceremoniously deposited Todd onto his cot. The men just looked at Dirk, before wordlessly leaving again, closing Todd's cell door with a clang.

* * *

Dirk yawned as he awoke the fourth day. Todd had alternated between whimpering and screaming for hours after he was returned the night before, at the end simply passing out from exhaustion. Dirk now looked over to his friend, breathing a sigh of relief to see that Todd's arms and legs had returned to normal, save a few bruises. That it had been a pararibulitis attack as he suspected. Because for a long while last night, even Dirk wasn't sure if it was an illusion or if Todd was actually being electrocuted.

"Dirk, are you awake?" Todd whispered now, voice weak from the strain of the night before.

"Yes, Todd," Dirk quickly responded, climbing from his cot to Todd's side of his cell. Todd got up too, shakily, crawling over to sit beside Dirk.

"I hope… I hope they come for us soon," he wheezed softly, hugging his knees to his chest. Dirk reached across the bars, hesitating slightly before placing his hand on top of Todd's hand. He felt Todd stiffen for a second from the touch, before relaxing, giving Dirk a small grateful smile.

"I hope they come for us soon too," Dirk replied.

* * *

On the fifth day, Todd came back with bandages around both his forearms.

"What happened?" Dirk had asked, but Todd had only gulped and shook his head.

"Tell me more about your old cases," he had requested instead.

* * *

On the sixth day, Dirk was almost punished for how badly he performed at his tests. It really wasn't _his fault_. He had simply been thinking about Todd, and then in thinking about Todd, Dirk found the he could somehow _feel_ Todd. Not clearly, like reading his thoughts or anything, but he could feel him. Feel his presence, and if Dirk concentrated hard enough, a hint of his emotions. After that, he could hardly concentrate on the annoying puzzles they wanted him to solve when he was trying to see if his friend was okay, and oh, why was there suddenly _so much fear_?

"Svlad, you're guessing. If you don't concentrate, we'll have no choice but to try a harder test," warned Dr Waters, flipping another card onto the table before him.

* * *

On the seventh day, they didn't bring Todd back.


	4. Chapter 4 - Strength

"Where is Todd?" demanded Dirk, glaring at Dr Waters.

"Svlad, tell me what's under the third card," the doctor asked instead, ignoring him.

"I need to know where Todd is, he didn't come back last night."

"Svlad," the doctor warned.

"Just tell me where Todd is, and I will tell you that the picture under the third card is probably not a shark kitten," Dirk pouted. Dr Waters sighed and flipped over the card, revealing a dog.

"So… where's Todd?"

"What if I told you that he's dead?"

"Well I know that's _not true_. I can feel him. He's alive. I just don't know where he is." Dirk paused, frowning as he concentrated. "He's foggy."

Dr Waters glanced at him.

"You can feel him? How?"

Dirk gulped.

"We're best friends…" He shrugged. "Todd and I are... connected."

The doctor stared at him for a few more moments, but Dirk remind silent, glancing wearily to his side. With a sigh, the doctor shuffled the cards and laid them out on the table again.

"Svlad, do this properly or we won't return him."

* * *

"Please Svlad, choose," Dr Waters pleaded, glancing anxiously over to where Dr Schultz was observing.

"Not until you give him back," Dirk stubbornly replied through clenched teeth, laying his palms flat onto the table, refusing to pick from the board of identical buttons before him. The board of buttons that delivered a painful snap of electricity through his fingers should he choose the wrong ones.

"Svlad, this isn't doing you or your friend any good," whispered Dr Waters softly under his breath to Dirk.

"It's been _three days_. Give Todd back to me or I refuse to do anymore of your tests."

On Dirk's other side, a uniformed man held a taser at the ready, waiting on Dr Schultz.

"Give the subject five seconds," Dr Schultz's voice came through over the intercom.

"Svlad, please?" Dr Waters pleaded again as the uniformed man steadily counted down from five.

"Five, four, three, two, one."

"Give him back!" Dirk yelled, as the taser buzzed, turning his words into a scream.

* * *

Five days. It took five whole days before they returned Todd to him. Dirk's heart flooded with relief at the sight of his friend being wheeled back down the corridor. Todd was back. They had given Todd back! Though… Todd was also distressingly pale, laying lifelessly on a gurney, dressed in a hospital gown. An IV was hung on one side, running into his wrist. Dirk also noticed that both of his forearms were still bandaged up like before, along with various other bandages and dressings peeking through past his gown.

"Todd…" he exclaimed quietly as they opened the door of Todd's cell, pushing him through. "Please," Dirk begged, eyeing the men who had wheeled Todd in desperately. The men looked at him for once, before wordlessly pushing Todd's gurney to the side of the cell near Dirk. Without another glance, they left, closing the door with a sharp clang.

"Todd? It's me," Dirk whispered to his friend as soon as they were alone. Todd didn't respond, and all Dirk could sense from him was numbness. It was a long moment before Todd's eyes slowly slid open, brilliant blue reflected against red rimms.

"Dirk?" he wheezed out through his dry cracked lips, his eyes blinking rapidly for a few moments more as they adjusted to the light.

"Yes Todd… it's Dirk… " Dirk trailed off, swallowing the lump in his throat. Everything felt _wrong wrong wrong_. Todd was back, but Todd _wasn't alright_.

"Dirk… A… Amanda," Todd suddenly exclaimed, gasping slightly in a panic, struggling weakly to sit up. Dirk frowned, suddenly sensing fear from him.

"It's okay Todd, we'll see Amanda soon, I know it," he quickly reassured his friend, reaching through the bars of his cell to lay his hand gently on Todd's shoulder to steady him back against the bed.

"No… no... she can't… she can't come," Todd continued to gasp, though quickly losing what little strength he had, finally laying down limp and still.

"Dirk… don't let… Amanda… don't let them… get Amanda," he whispered softly before his eyes closed once more, his body sapped of any further strength to stay awake. Dirk felt his own tears on his cheeks as he carefully took his friend's hand into his own.

"You're a good brother Todd, whether you believe it or not," he whispered back.

* * *

"Svlad, concentrate. You can do it," Dr Waters prompted, pointing to the image of a maze before him. "Where is the mouse?"

Dirk frowned, his mind still stubbornly focused on Todd. They had taken Todd away that morning again, and Dirk really really hoped they gave him back tonight.

"Svlad?" Dr Waters beckoned him again, gesturing to the map.

"Todd feels scared… why does Todd feel scared?" asked Dirk instead.

"Svlad… we're not asking you what Todd is feeling right now," sighed Dr Waters wearily. He frowned suddenly, narrowing his eyes. "Svlad… can you feel _where_ Todd is?"

Dirk burrowed his brows, closing his eyes as he concentrated on Todd, on getting to Todd, his mind somehow wandering through a maze of dark tunnels until they stopped abruptly outside a metal vent door. _Fear… so much fear_. His mind wouldn't allow him to go further, to peek inside. Dirk opened his eyes again to glance suspiciously at Dr Waters, withdrawing back to the present. The doctor's eyes were wide, glancing back at him with intensity.

"Dirk," the doctor whispered softly, glancing around to check that they were indeed alone. "You are strong. Stronger than you think. You must remember what you can do if you want to help Todd."

Dirk's eyes widened, blinking as he stared in surprise at the doctor. Dr Waters cleared his throat, gesturing to the map before him again.

"Come on, Svlad."

Dirk took in a breath.

Rodent, rodent… his mind clasped onto a fuzzle of whiskers.

"There," Dirk exclaimed, pointing to the place where the mouse was on the map.

* * *

"Dirk… I… I'm scared," whispered Todd brokenly, laying his head weakly against the bars of his cell as he sat back to back with Dirk. Dirk knew that. Todd didn't have to tell Dirk that Todd was scared. Dirk had felt Todd's fear for days upon days now… longer than he could keep count. Swallowing hard to try and the clear the lump forming in his throat, Dirk reached his hands behind him, finding Todd's and taking both of them into his own.

Strong. He needed to be strong for Todd.


	5. Chapter 5 - Project Alpha

Amanda Brotzman sneaked a glance around the corner she was hiding behind, quickly ducking back when another uniformed man walked past. Tightly gripping the gun in her hand, she turned to Farah and the others.

"Alright." She nodded. "Let's go save Dirk and my idiot brother."

* * *

Dirk paced his cell impatiently. He had been feeling edgy all night. Something was up, he could feel it. The universe was pulling on him, telling him to act, telling him it was time. Time for him to do _something_. He paused for a moment, glancing over at the cell beside him, Todd sleeping restlessly on his cot. Todd slept a lot these days, though never peacefully. He would be brought back from his tests exhausted, drop to his cot and fall right asleep, tossing and turning through the night. After a few nights, Dirk had been concerned Todd wasn't really eating anything, so had continuously called his name until he roused, threatening to keep annoying him until he ate at least a few spoonfuls before he dropped off again. Todd couldn't continue like this, Dirk knew it. And now, the universe was telling him, now was the moment. Now, it was up to him to change things... But _what_ and _how?_

The sound of footsteps caught Dirk's attention, familiar paces coming down the corridor, though the timing confused him. It was too soon to be morning yet, wasn't it? Why were they coming for them already?

"What time is it please?" Dirk politely asked one of the men when they unlocked Todd's gate, heading in to pull the man to his feet in surprise. "Is it morning already?" Dirk asked again when they dragged Todd out and down the corridor without a word, Todd weakly struggling in their grip.

"Let me sleep… no… tired..." he mumbled, eyes half shut as though unsure if he were awake or dreaming.

"Wait, what's happening? Todd! Todd!" shouted Dirk, a feeling of great unease washing over him as his friend disappeared from view.

"It's not morning yet, it can't be," Dirk cried when he heard another set of footsteps coming down the corridor towards him. His eyes widened when they came into view though.

"Amanda, Farah, it's you!"

"Shh, not so loud, Dirk," admonished Farah, breaking the lock on his door with a quick blip, similar to what Todd had done last time.

"Where's my brother?" asked Amanda, stepping into his cell and enveloping Dirk into a hug. Dirk hugged back fiercely, though winced at the mention of Todd.

"They've already taken him… is it morning?"

Farah frowned, shaking her head.

"It's late, around midnight."

"That's odd, they usually only take us in the morning… I mean, I presume it to be morning… but no… that wasn't enough time-"

"Take you where?" asked Amanda slowly, apprehension filling her eyes. She carefully studied Dirk, taking in his gaunt appearance, the worrying bruises and what looked like small burn marks along his arms. Dirk gulped, remembering Todd's adamant instructions on not telling Amanda about his pararibulitis. Luckily Farah interrupted before he had to answer.

"Come on, we best get going. Ken's figured out a way to trick their surveillance system into playing a loop for you still being here, but they might notice something suspicious soon enough."

* * *

Farah led them down a maze of corridors, the group having to duck a few times to avoid the scientists and agents walking past. They finally reached a vent (Dirk didn't think it was the same one he and Todd had hid during the first rescue attempt), Farah swiftly pulling out the door to allow Dirk and Amanda in.

"Mmm, yummy!" someone greeted Dirk in the dark, hands gripping him, pulling him deeper into the tunnel.

"Martin, leave Dirk alone," admonished Amanda from behind him. Dirk sighed in relief when the rough hands released him, giving his arm a tug, beckoning him to follow. They crawled along in a row until they reached another vent, Martin kicking the gate open and sliding out. A small crowd greeted Dirk when he slid out after, including all four members of the Rowdy 3, the assassin Bart, and her assistant Ken, inside what looked like a cleaner's closet.

"They took Todd away," said Ken as soon as Amanda and Farah had joined them. He was staring at a small tablet in his hands.

"We know," Farah responded. "Where did they take him?"

"I'm looking. I lost him when I was covering for the three of you."

Dirk moved to study the screen with Ken, frowning when he couldn't spy Todd in any of the views, even as they flickered around to various points of the building. Closing his eyes, he concentrated on Todd, sighing in relief when he didn't sense any great distress from his friend aside from the underlying fear that almost never left him these days.

"Hi Dirk Gently," Bart spoke up, glancing menacingly at Dirk. Dirk gulped, nodding to acknowledge her.

"We've saved Dirk Gently, Ken. Can we go now? I need to go."

"Bart, we promised we'd help these people, and that includes rescuing Todd too," said Ken, patiently. Bart shrugged.

"Fine. But we need to go there." She pointed at the screen just as Todd appeared, dressed in a gown, escorted by two lab coated men.

* * *

"This better be important, doctor. It's late and I pushed two briefings to be here," said Major Wilson as she followed Dr Schultz into Blackwing's main testing chamber.

"It will definitely be worth your while Major, trust me."

She pulled out a few instruments before pressing a button on the intercom.

"Bring in Project Alpha."

"Project Alpha?" asked the Major, raising an eyebrow.

"He _is_ going to be the beginning of something big."

* * *

"Shouldn't we be a bit… less obvious?" Dirk whispered to Farah. They had followed Bart along as she led them, her seeming to know exactly where she needed to go without feeling any need to duck or cover. Surprisingly every person seemed to just miss them as they walked past, even when the Rowdies would occasionally smash something just because they could.

Farah shrugged.

"Well, it's not how I would prefer to operate… but it seems to be working?"

They continued down a couple more corridors when Bart suddenly dashed through a secure sliding door that was closing, dragging Ken behind her. Farah tried to race after them, but only managed to kick the door hard as it shut.

"Great, now what?" asked Amanda.

* * *

"Left," said Dirk, closing his eyes and concentrating on the maze of tunnels his mind led him through.

"Are you sure you know where we're going?" ask Amanda, following behind him closely as the group, minus Bart and Ken, crawled through the dark tunnels of the air vents once again. Dirk didn't answer, concentrating hard when they reached another junction.

 _"Dirk, you are strong... You must remember what you can do if you want to help Todd."_

Dr Waters' words from days before echoed in his mind. Yes, he could do this, he could find Todd. Dirk closed his eyes, concentrating on Todd again.

"Yes, left," he instructed again, leading the way.

* * *

"Don't get me wrong, doctor. Your research proposal was indeed interesting. But I'm sure you understand, for Blackwing's sake, we need results, not theories," Wilson commented, turning towards Todd. Todd tried to step back, feeling a shiver up his spine as cold eyes studied him. However, strong arms held him in his spot.

"Yes, Major. We definitely have results. Which is why I have been requesting your presence for quite some time," replied Dr Schultz, smiling that same smile that never seemed to reach her eyes.

"I had… other priorities. A breakthrough?"

"Yes. Shall we get started then?" she gestured to the men holding Todd. "I expect for Blackwing to get all the funding we need after this."

* * *

Dirk gulped, staring at the vent before him. This was it, they had reached their destination. This was the point his mind never allowed him to go further from whenever he had tried to mentally reach out for Todd.

Amanda was the first to peer through, gasping softly beside him. Dirk closed his eyes for a moment to try and calm his entirely too fast heartbeat.

"I need to do this, for Todd," he whispered under his breath to himself. Bracing himself against the blinding fear he could sense coming strongly from Todd, he forced his eyes open, leaning forward to peer through the vent too.

* * *

Todd struggled hard against the men holding him, dragging him to the chair at the centre of the room. Feeling the familiar restraints tie over his legs, he instinctively flailed his arms, managing to pull free from the grip of the men holding him down.

"No, no, let me go. Please…," he managed to stammer out, shamed at how pathetic he was sure he sounded, but unable to stop himself. Blinding fear gripped him tightly, the same fear he always felt when he was here, in this room, in this chair. He didn't know why he still struggled, or why he still begged. They never did stop, no matter how much he had begged them before.

"Now now, none of that, Todd," Dr Schultz admonished in a sickly sweet tone that made all the hairs on his neck prickle. "You don't want for us to try and see if Amanda will cooperate better with us instead, do you?"

Todd gasped, his breath hitching at the panic that grew inside of him. No, they couldn't get Amanda, he could never let them get Amanda. Fighting hard against every instinct in his body, he slowly stilled, allowing them to take his arms again.

* * *

"I had long had my suspicions about pararibulitis, and the type of mental energy that was required to create such vivid and formed hallucinations in the blink of an eye to otherwise completely uninteresting individuals. Also of course, the tendency for the disease to stay within family lines…"

Dr Schultz's voice drifted up through the vent though Dirk hardly paid attention. He could _see_ Todd, could see Todd's wide eyes as he was restrained into the chair. Could _feel_ the rivers of dread and fear running through Todd's emotions, their connection somehow sharper now than ever before. Beside him he heard Amanda gasp again, her face pale as she watched the men in lab coats undo the bandages around Todd's arms, revealing a strange assortment of bruises, cuts and marks Dirk couldn't quite make out. They then placed his arms onto two wide armrests, strapping him down tightly at his elbows and wrists. Todd whimpered softly, the restraints stopping him from pulling away when Dr Schultz produced a syringe from one of the trays beside the chair.

"Steady now," she warned, holding him down tightly as she injected the substance into one of his immobilised arms, causing Todd to grimace. Next they placed a number of tabs under his gown, a connected monitor starting to show his heartbeat, a steady but all too rapid beating.

"We need a diversion," Farah spoke up, peering through between Amanda and Dirk, her voice a tight whisper. "If we can create a diversion, it'll give us a much better chance to attack."

"Let's start at 1,000 volts, 10 seconds..." Dr Schultz's voice drifted up the vent.

"We can come from that side," said Martin, sticking his head between to study the chamber beneath them alongside Farah. "There's another vent there. I think we should be able to follow a connection to there from here. Once we come out, you can follow-"

A buzzing interrupted him, followed by the sound of Todd screaming. Dirk swallowed hard to drown the nausea that threatened as he glanced through the vent again. One of the lab coated men was holding what looked like a long wand near Todd's forearm. At the doctor's instructions, the buzzing started again, the man placing the stick against Todd's arm, causing another scream, this time longer and more pained. Dirk could see Todd struggling hard against the restraints that held him, face red and contorted as he cried out. The heart monitor began beeping louder, the steady beats speeding up. Beside him, Dirk felt Amanda stiffen. Amanda who hadn't said a single word since she had first peered through the vent and saw her brother.

"Looks like we don't have much time. Cross, Gripps, come with me. Vogel, stay here with Amanda. Take care of her," instructed Martin after a moment's silence, Todd's screams having subsided for the time being again, this time replaced with stunted sobs. Dirk couldn't tell which sounded worse. Martin began crawling away, leading the other two back towards the darkness of the tunnels, Vogel moving forward until he was right behind Amanda. Dirk spied him discreetly absorbing a slither of blue energy from her, helping her to relax slightly.

* * *

"Try another 300, 20 seconds," Dr Schultz's voice drifted up, and the horrible buzzing started again.

 _No… hurts… stop… stop… hurts… stop… please..._

Todd's mind was a jumble as he felt the burning at his flesh, the fire crawling up his arm, then over every fibre of his being. He was slightly aware that he was screaming, and maybe tears were running from his eyes, but all he knew was that he was on fire. They were burning him, and he was on fire.

The buzzing stopped. A merciful reprieve, even as his nerves continued to shake. He shuddered, heaving air into his oxygen deprived lungs.

 _At least it's not Amanda… at least it's not Amanda…_

His only comfort.

"Another 300, 30 seconds," Dr Schultz voice cut through his hazy thoughts, and Todd shuddered, bracing again for what he knew followed.

Maybe this was it. Maybe this was hell. Maybe he was finally in hell for all the horrible things he had done to the very people he loved.

Karma right?

Everything is connected.

 _Hot. White. Burning. Pain._

He felt it. It was coming. The tidal wave flooded over him.

He couldn't fix things. He couldn't fix anything.

This was everything he deserved.

Mom… Dad… Amanda…

 _I'm sorry._

* * *

Dirk's eyes widened when Todd was suddenly engulfed by a wave of electric energy running up both his arms, crackling as it melted skin and flesh from his body, a long and unrelenting scream erupting from his lungs. Heaving, Dirk just managed to stop his stomach from emptying, the screams flooding through the chamber and echoing deep into his heart. Beside him, he felt Amanda's hand grip his arm tightly, a look of horror frozen on her expression as she watched her brother's struggles, a steady stream of energy now passing between Vogel and her.

"Dirk… what… what are they doing to him?" she finally whispered, stuttering, her eyes never leaving the painful scene before them. Dirk tried to answer _something_ , but felt the words caught in his throat, the hesitation and tears that threatened to fall from his eyes the only answer he could give at the moment.

A sudden loud bang sounded from the opposite side of the chamber, Martin and the rest of the Rowdies bursting in, batons and crowbars swinging. Seeing them, Amanda didn't waste another moment, kicking through the vent on their side with a yell, Vogel following closely behind. Chaos erupted into the chamber, the lab coated scientists making a mad dash for cover while armed agents filed in, guns pointed and firing. Stray bullets flew around, breaking glass and instruments, though miraculously missing all of them.

Dirk jumped down from the vent they had been hiding in, concentrating only on getting to Todd. Todd, who he could see was continuing to writhe on the chair he was tied to. Todd, who was still encased in electric sparks that melted his flesh. Todd, whose weakening screams and rapidly beeping heart monitor were an underlying horrifying soundtrack to the commotion surrounding them.

Dirk had almost made it to the chair in the centre where Todd was when a sudden feeling of cold metal brushed his temple. Stopping, he gulped, staring into Dr Schultz's cold eyes, the gun that was directly pointed at him in her hands.

"Put that down or I'll shoot," Amanda's voice interrupted, pausing everyone, her gun somehow pointed against Major Wilson's temple.


	6. Chapter 6 - Revelations

"Well, isn't this interesting?" cooed Dr Schultz, her tone causing Dirk to shiver. Major Wilson narrowed her eyes at the doctor, obviously unhappy with the doctor's disregard for her own predicament.

"I mean it, put the gun down," Amanda repeated, determination in her eyes. "And stop whatever it is you're doing to my brother, or I'll shoot," she continued, taking a glance at Todd, whose screams were now weakened to pain-filled gasps.

"Doctor, I suggest you consider the seriousness of the situation," Wilson gritted out, glancing fiercely at Dr Schultz when she simply let out a small laugh.

"I could say the same thing," the doctor addressed Amanda, ignoring her superior, "unless Amanda, you don't care about your friend here." She prodded Dirk's cheek with her gun, causing him to wince. "I do have to thank you though, Amanda. You have certainly been helpful in getting your brother to cooperate with us."

Amanda flinched, rapidly blinking away a tear.

"Just… stop hurting Todd, or I swear to God," she managed, also prodding the Major in the cheek with her gun to get her point across.

"Oh Amanda," the doctor sighed, "You must be mistaken, we're not doing anything to Todd right now."

Amanda glanced at Todd, studying his wide eyes that were staring in fear at his own body, strained like he was being burnt or electrocuted… except he wasn't.

"You of all people should be able to recognise what is happening."

The doctor nodded to one of the lab coated men, who shakily got up and released Todd from the restraints. Todd however, hardly noticed as he continued to gasp, sobbing, gritting his teeth against the invisible torture. Amanda's eyes widened when she recognised the symptoms.

"But… Todd doesn't have pararibulitis..."

She glanced at Vogel beside her. Without a word, the man carefully made his way to Todd's side, bending down to absorb a slither of blue energy from him.

"There's too much," he stated, looking over to the rest of the Rowdies. The other three walked over cautiously to join him, the four of them solemnly feeding for a long moment, Todd continuing to gasp and struggle. It was Martin who finally stopped, brows tensing in confusion at Todd.

"Something's not right," he muttered as he stepped back, the other Rowdies following his lead. Suddenly, he lifted the bat in his hand, bringing it down firmly over Todd's head, knocking the other man unconsciousness.

"Trust me, he would've wanted it," he explained, shrugging to the shocked eyes of Amanda, Dirk and Farah.

Amanda blinked, emotions and thoughts jumbling. She frowned however, when she noticed the faint pink lines blistering over Todd's arms, up into his gown and down his legs, some even crawling to the edges of his neck.

"What… what is happening to him?" whispered Dirk, his eyes steady on Todd. The wide manic grin on Dr Schultz's face made Amanda shiver.

"That," she answered smugly, "is my breakthrough."

* * *

Dirk felt antsy. Surely when the universe told him to was time to do _something_ , it couldn't have meant _this_. Having a gun pointed directly at his head, and completely helpless while Todd was lying only three feet away. That was the worst part. He wanted _so much_ to reach out and wrap his best assist-friend into his arms, even IF Todd scowled and yelled at him doing so in front of Amanda and Farah. But no, here he was, probably about to die, and he couldn't even so much as _tell_ Todd how much he meant to him, how very thankful he was that Todd had come into his life, and also how _very very sorry_ he was for all that had happened.

"As I was explaining, before we were so rudely interrupted," began Dr Schultz, even as Dirk glared at her, for once in his life wishing he had even stronger abilities, maybe even something that was able to cause damage to someone, "my hypothesis was that the pararibulitis attacks were not just simple hallucinations, but in fact caused by the same type of energy as what other Blackwing subjects possess for their... abilities. We already had samples of energy signatures from previous subjects, so I worked on collecting the energy signature generated by the attacks, first by finding ways to trigger an attack."

"Triggering an attack? Do you even know how… how painful attacks are?" sputtered Amanda, glaring at the doctor, before her eyes drifted again to her brother's unconscious form.

"The reaction of the subject to these attacks were of course strong, as expected," Dr Schultz responded coldly. "But in the process of collecting the energy signatures, I not only confirmed that those with pararibulitis were generating the same kind of, let's call it psychic energy, as those with other abilities, but I also stumbled upon a way to concentrate the energy."

"It would be wise to get to your point, doctor," prompted Wilson, eyeing Amanda's gun that was still steadily pointing at her.

"Yes of course, Major. I found that by increasing the subject's sensory system to make him feel more during an attack, I could invoke a stronger reaction, and hence, a stronger concentration of the energy. You see, as has been consistent with our other studies of Blackwing subjects, there is a correlation between a subject's emotions to the energy they generate. Strong emotions seem to cause greater abilities. In this case, by increasing the subject's sensitivity, I could strongly increase the severity of an attack. The increased pain of the attack also triggered further emotions in the subject to keep feeding the attack, allowing the concentration to grow. Of course, after the first few times, I found that I also needed to add in a blocker to keep the subject from prematurely falling into unconsciousness."

Amanda was unable to contain the tearful gasp that escaped her. She remembered previous attacks that got so bad she passed out. As bad as it was, it was an escape… and it stopped the attack. She couldn't imagine what it would be like not to have that failsafe, not to be able to have it stop when it all got too much.

"This result of this concentration of the energy generated though, Major," continued the doctor, waving one hand towards Todd, "was certainly beyond my expectation."

"Result?" questioned Wilson, looking over to Todd curiously. Amanda tapped her gun against the Major's cheek again, causing the Major to scowl.

"Yes, Major. Look at the patterned burns on the subject's body, and the blisters that have appeared. The marks are consistent with someone who has been struck by lightning. What you're seeing is an actual physical manifestation of the psychic energy of our subjects! It was purely an accident the first time it happened. We were simply trying to test how severe we could make an attack and measure the resulting energy. However, seeing actual physical results manifesting was certainly unexpected. And this isn't a one off. I've had positive results with a variety of other triggers too."

Dirk gulped, shivering when he recalled all the various bandages he had seen peeking over the edges of Todd's clothing in the past few weeks, the way Todd had seemed too tired to even move the few steps around his cell.

"Well, that is certainly interesting, doctor. But still, how is this… as major a breakthrough as you claim?" asked Wilson.

"Don't you see, Major? I've proven that the psychic energy of these subjects in concentrated amounts can cause physical damage to human tissue. If we can somehow harvest this energy and study how it manifests in pararibulitis subjects, we could be looking at the development of a whole new schema of weaponry for our national security. Of course, there's quite a few steps to overcome before we get there, but beginning with Project Alpha, the possibilities are all there for a brand new study program branching off what we've already accomplished in Black-"

BAM!

A gunshot suddenly rang out, a splatter of warm liquid hitting Dirk in the cheek. He instinctively ducked, thinking for a moment that he had been shot, before looking back up to see Dr Schultz's wide eyes, and the very deadly and very accurate bullet hole right in the middle of her forehead.

"Is that Todd?" asked Bart from one of the doorways, nonchalantly pointing at the chair where Todd was with her gun. When Dirk slowly nodded, she continued to take down each of the armed officers one by one as she made her way through the room towards them, all retaliation shots at her of course, mysteriously catching in their guns.

* * *

"Farah, what do we actually plan to do with her once we get out?" asked Dirk as they followed Bart and Ken around the corridors of the facility, the Rowdies carrying Todd between them. Amanda was supporting Dirk as he hobbled along, while Farah tugged a blindfolded and bound Major Wilson with them.

"I er,… haven't figured out that part of the plan yet," Farah responded. "Plan…, right. We're surrounded by CIA officers following some unstable lady who somehow is immune to bullets, and I have a CIA agent as my hostage. What plans, huh?" she mumbled to herself, laughing nervously.

"Farah… are you alright?" questioned Dirk, glancing at her as they rounded another corner.

"Sure Dirk, I'm going to be just fine as soon as we make it out of here," she answered, though Dirk wasn't sure if she was reassuring him or herself. "And then we'll figure out what to do from there."

* * *

They had almost made it to their van when Friedkin appeared out of nowhere, five armed men in tow.

"Subjects, drop your weapons and let go of the Major," he ordered, his gun pointed at them. Bart simply fired off five shots without hesitating, taking out each of the armed agents with him, though her gun came up empty when she finally aimed at Friedkin and fired.

"Huh, guess I'm out of bullets… " she commented, frowning at her gun. Friedkin quickly fired back at her, also frowning when his bullet jammed. He was about to take aim at them once more when Martin pounced on him, knocking the man hard on the head. Cross easily knocked the rifle from Friedkin's arms and along with Vogel, made short work of destroying the weapon until it was scattered in small pieces across the ground.

"Quick, get in," ordered Farah, pulling open the door to usher everyone into the vehicle. With a push, she knocked the blindfolded Major onto the ground beside Friedkin, before jumping in herself and slamming the door shut behind her.


	7. Chapter 7 - Lies

"He said he lied."

Dirk turned to Amanda from his view out the window. They had been driving for a while, Farah had said it would take about six hours to get to their destination, a cabin hidden in the woods that Patrick Spring used to own. Amanda had mostly stayed silent so far, seated at the back of the van with Dirk, Todd's unconscious form sandwiched between them.

"Lied?" asked Dirk now, shaking his head to bring his thoughts back to the present.

"About his pararibulitis… he said… he said he lied about having it," Amanda clarified. Dirk gulped down the lump in his throat, unconsciously squeezing Todd's hand tighter in his. He hadn't let it go since they first filed into the van and Gripps had unceremoniously dumped Todd beside him.

"He did. I mean, lie about having it before when… He got the disease later."

"Did… did they give it to him?" she whispered, tears forming at the corners of her eyes. Dirk gulped, slowly shaking his head.

"He already had it when you came to rescue us, the first time… it was the reason they… they didn't… it was the reason they kept him."

"So he had it when we went into Blackwing the first time... he lied again?"

Dirk could only shrug. "He didn't lie exactly… he just didn't… tell you?"

Amanda took an audible breath, eyebrows creasing as she cast her eyes upon Todd lying silent and still between them.

"Ugh, I'm so mad at him," she growled softly, though she still reached for him, taking his other hand, the one that wasn't occupied by Dirk, into her own.

* * *

It was nearly dawn by the time they reached the cabin, a small but well furnished den hidden among the woods. Bart and Ken had bid them farewell somewhere along the way, Bart feeling the urge to go in a different direction, the universe beckoning her to her next target. Somehow Dirk knew this wasn't going to be the last they saw of each other, and he was certainly glad she no longer wanted to kill him. Once the van was parked, everyone filed in wearily, even the Rowdies too tired to destroy anything within the richly furnished cabin, much to Farah's relief. Gripps seemed to have decided that toting Todd around was his assigned job, so had simply snatched up the still unconscious man from beside Dirk and took him in, depositing him onto a king-sized bed in one of the bedrooms.

"We'll be in the other room," Martin grunted out before leading the Rowdies away, Dirk presumed to catch up on the sleep they missed while they took care of the driving through the night.

"Here, thought you might want to clean up a bit and get out of those," Farah offered, handing a bundle of clothes to Dirk. "These belonged to Patrick so they might be a bit big for you… and probably won't even fit him at all," she added, waving her hand towards Todd, still in the gown from Blackwing. "We'll get the Rowdies to head to the nearby town for some supplies and clothes when they're rested."

"Thanks Farah." Dirk took the clothes with a slight shake of his head, though he continued to sit by the bed, not wanting to leave Todd's side.

"And uh, here, thought you might need this," Farah continued, handing a first aid kit to them as well. "We're pretty far from decent medical assistance, not that we can even use insurance or anything since we're hiding from the CIA… anyway, it might help." She quickly glanced at the dark bruise on Todd's forehead from Martin's bat, the various cuts, bruises, blisters and other marks still covering him, not to mention the marks and bruises on Dirk's exposed arms. Gulping, she closed her eyes, trying hard not to think of what the two men had gone through at the facility.

"I'm just... going to go and keep watch," she finished, turning to head out to the den with a nod of her head.

"Thanks Farah," Dirk repeated as she disappeared out the door.

* * *

At almost midday, Todd finally woke, Amanda and Dirk having dozed off on either side of him. He blinked wearily for a few moments, grimacing at the pounding headache, and wondering at the softness of the bed. Glancing down to his right, he was surprised to find fresh bandages on his arm, and Amanda fast asleep beside him.

"Amanda… no… you… you can't be here, they'll… you have to get out!"

He sat up in a hurry, ignoring the dizziness he felt at the movement as he shook her awake.

"Todd?" she muttered in confusion, "what-"

"Todd, it's okay, it's okay," chimed in Dirk from the other side, having woken also from the commotion.

"No," Todd continued to panic, desperate tears already filling his eyes. "They can't get her, Dirk! I can't let them get Amanda, I-"

"Todd, Todd, it's okay, we're safe, we're… we're safe," reassured Dirk, gently grasping the man's shoulders so he could see him face to face. "Amanda, Farah… the Rowdies, everyone, they came for us. We're safe now," he continued, feeling a lump filling his throat and his own tears stinging at the corner of his eyes as he himself took it all in. "We're free."

Todd's breathing slowly calmed down, bright blue eyes carefully scanning their surroundings.

"We… we got out?"

Dirk nodded in response.

"Amanda? Amanda," exclaimed Todd, turning back to his sister and pulling her into a tight hug. This time he couldn't hold back the tears from falling, creating wet tracks down his cheeks. Amanda kept silent, her eyes downcast as she allowed herself to be held in his arms. Dirk watched from the other side of the bed, part moved by the moment, and part envious he couldn't join in. Amanda waited until her brother had calmed down somewhat before pulling away so she could face him.

"Sorry, I…" he began, blushing and hurriedly wiping his tears away. "I'm glad you're okay."

Amanda nodded, her eyes still downcast as she faced her brother.

"So when were you going to tell me?" she finally asked, her expression unreadable.

"Tell you what?"

"About why it took you so long to come through the vents when we went to rescue Dirk the first time? And why you were both captured when Ken had already worked out a way to distract everyone for long enough?"

Todd swallowed hard, eyes shifting away.

"We were delayed… it… took longer than we thought it would to get out…"

"What happened?"

"Just… some stuff…"

"Stuff? Stuff like maybe… a pararibulitis attack?"

Todd looked up in alarm at her words.

"Is that it Todd? You had an attack and that's why you couldn't get out in time?"

"I… We… How did you find out… did Dirk tell you?" Todd suddenly asked, frowning as he glanced at Dirk. Dirk opened his mouth in protest at the accusation.

"Don't you dare blame Dirk. This isn't about Dirk. It's about you, Todd. Hiding things from me, lying to me. Again. I just… I just can't trust you." She sighed, getting up off the bed.

"Amanda..."

"Farah's probably tired, I'm going to keep watch so she can rest a bit," she interrupted. She paused, glancing at her brother again. "There's aspirin in my bag if you need it," she finished, pointing to her backpack strewn in the corner before stalking out and shutting the door behind her. Todd glanced at Dirk, the other man shrugging helplessly.

"The doctor… Dr Schultz told her about your… pararibulitis."

Todd shivered slightly at the mention of the doctor.

"Sorry Dirk... I… I didn't mean to accuse you, I just..." he started apologising, breaking off in confusion at the mirade of emotions that threatened to overwhelm him. "Please don't… don't go…" he finally whispered, hugging his knees to his chest and burying his face into his arms. Dirk could only lay his hand onto his friend's shoulder in comfort.

* * *

"So, you're still mad at Todd huh?" asked Farah, plopping herself down on the couch beside Amanda in the den. She had just taken some canned soup to Dirk and Todd in the master bedroom for lunch where Dirk had tiredly filled her in. Todd had fallen asleep again, though restless.

Amanda glanced at her now, shrugging as she spooned another mouthful of her own soup.

"He lied to me for six years, Farah. That is _messed up_. And even now, he can't bring himself to tell us the truth. How could he keep something like having pararibulitis from us? He jeopardised everything, and got both himself and Dirk in trouble." She gulped, remembering back to when they had waited and waited at the van the first time they had gone to rescue Dirk, the blind worry she had felt when they were late, the overwhelming panic that then took over when they realised that Dirk and Todd weren't coming at all, that they had been caught.

Farah's sigh broke her thoughts.

"You're right. Not telling us about his condition was... dumb. But is now the best time to be mad at him… after… after everything?"

"I don't know, Farah. Part of me just wants my brother back, wants things back to how they were, when he... well… he was my hero, and also my only hope that everything could be alright one day for me too, that I too could get better. But then I found out that was all a lie, and everything I thought I knew about him was also a lie…" She closed her eyes, sighing. "And it just makes me _so mad_. It's like I knew him all these years, but I wonder whether I even really knew him?"

"You still care about him though. And… he obviously cares a lot about you."

"Well unfortunately he's still my brother… even if he's an asshole."


	8. Chapter 8 - Not fine

He was burning, stinging tentacles encasing him from head to toe, each bringing a burn through his skin deep into his bones. He struggled hard, trying to loosen himself from the torturous binds, but they held fast, slowly squeezing tighter and tighter.

 _Help... help me…_

"You lied, Todd."

Amanda's voice.

 _Please, help me… Amanda, I'm sorry. I'll fix it all. I'll fix everything._

"You lied, and hurt everyone. Everyone who cared about you. Even Dirk, it was because of you he was recaptured."

 _No no no, please… I tried to keep going… I knew we were late but… please I'm sorry…_

The tentacles squeezed even tighter.

 _I… I can't breath… help me…_

"Just relax Todd. You know that struggling will only make it worse."

The shrill voice… Todd shuddered. The doctor.

"Give another 10 volts."

 _No, stop stop… please… stop._

* * *

Todd woke with a start, gasping hard in the silence of the night, his heart still beating rapidly against his chest.

 _A dream… it had only been a dream…_

He closed his eyes, gulping a to try and ease the dryness in his throat, sighing in relief when his heartbeat began to slow down. He was about to slide back under the covers, careful not to wake his still sleeping companion, when he felt the sting on his hand. Hissing, he pulled his hand out to study it under the pale glow of the moonlight shining through the gap in the curtains, only to feel his breath hasten again at the sight of more slimy stinging tentacles dripping from his hand and up his forearm. Suddenly, a spring of them erupted from beneath his covers, encasing him, and Todd did all he could not to scream out.

* * *

"Todd?" Dirk asked, frowning blearily at having been woken. "Todd!" he yelped when he sighted the man sitting up beside him on the bed, gasping as small slippery strings encased him, sparks of what looked like electricity occasionally running through that caused the man to jerk, though unable to scream through the cords binding tightly around his throat.

 _Oh dear god, it's an attack… Todd is having an attack… he can't breath..._

"Help!" Dirk quickly hollered out as loud as he could. "Help, Farah! Amanda! HELP!"

"It's going to be alright, Todd, it's just an illusion… oh god... you need to breathe," he told Todd firmly, grasping the slimy binds with his own hands and pulling hard to try and loosen them. He sighed in relief when Todd seemed to manage a tiny breath before the tentacles tightened up again. "Rowdies, Amanda, help!" he yelled again, this time finally hearing footsteps approach. It was a tense few seconds more (felt more like minutes) before light flooded the room, Farah appearing at the doorway, followed closely by Amanda and four groaning Rowdy men.

"Help, it's Todd, he… he's having an attack, not breathing," cried Dirk, continuing to struggle with the binds at Todd's throat. Without wasting another moment, the Rowdies surrounded both Todd and Dirk, Dirk feeling the familiar and unwelcome feeling of being fed off by the Rowdies, dulling his senses.

"Not me too…" he managed to groan when they finally stopped, though sighed in relief when he saw Todd was now free from the bindings, colour slowly returning to his lips as he heaved in air.

"Yummy," grinned Vogel, giggling. "Sleepy now," he added.

With a grunt from Martin, the Rowdies filed wearily back out the door to their room.

"Is… is everything okay?" asked Farah, staring at Todd in concern. "Todd?"

Todd nodded slowly, still gasping in air.

"I… I think so. Sorry for waking everyone…" he trailed off, spying his sister standing beside Farah. Amanda glared at her brother for a few moments more, before suddenly moving towards the bed, enveloping him into her arms.

"Don't you dare scare me like that again, asshole," she grunted, squeezing him hard. Todd winced slightly at the pressure on his still healing burns, but didn't pull away, relishing the feel of her arms around him despite the pain. He was about to return the hug when just as abruptly, she let him go. Sniffling and hastily wiping a tear that had fallen down her cheeks, Amanda huffed, wordlessly getting up off the bed and leaving them.

"I'll just… be outside too," said Farah, turning to follow Amanda. "Tell if you need anything," she added, closing the bedroom door behind her.

"Todd, are you alright?" asked Dirk hesitantly. He couldn't feel Todd's emotions anymore. Not so soon after the Rowdies had fed off them both. Todd nodded, then shook his head slightly, before shrugging, bright blue eyes rapidly darting back and forth.

"I'm fine," he finally answered, when Dirk continued to stare at him. Pulling the covers up, he slowly slid back onto the bed. "Night, Dirk," he muttered, before shutting his eyes to sleep.

"Night, Todd," Dirk replied softly, feeling a strange emptiness as he continued to study his friend.

* * *

"Todd, I think we need to talk about… things," said Dirk.

They were outside around the back of the cabin, chopping firewood. Not that they needed firewood, it wasn't cold enough to warrant a fireplace. But Todd had spied the setup and decided to put himself to work. It had been three days since they escaped, and between the tension surrounding the Brotzman siblings, the Rowdies holding some sort of animosity towards Todd because of Amanda, and not to mention the sleepless nights of recurring nightmares, things had been tense, to put it lightly.

"What is there to talk about?" asked Todd offhandedly, slicing his axe cleanly into a piece of wood.

"Well… there's you and Amanda…"

Todd glanced at Dirk.

"I lied to her, and she won't forgive me. It is what it is." He shrugged, placing another piece of wood onto the chopping block, though Dirk could feel the sharp pang of guilt emoting through his friend.

"And… there's the Rowdies?"

"What about the Rowdies?"

"Well, since they can help you with your… attacks… are you going to hang around with them forever now? I mean, it doesn't seem like they like you very much."

Dirk looked pointedly at Todd's current attire, a baby blue T-shirt with a teddy bear printed on the front and the words 'I WUV HUGS' in large fluffy letters above the bear, along with tight leopard patterned pants. The Rowdies idea of what was appropriate when Farah sent them off to get supplies and 'some clothes for Todd'.

Todd sighed, grimacing at his current limited wardrobe choices.

"They hate me. But they're good to Amanda. I haven't seen her so confident and relaxed since she got…" He paused, slicing his axe into another piece of wood. "Since she got sick..."

"And that brings me to the next thingy… your pararibulitis attacks."

Todd swallowed hard, turning away to avoid Dirk's gaze.

"I'm fine."

"That's the thing, Todd. Are you? You keep saying you're fine… but I'm sure fine doesn't mean waking up multiple times a night screaming. And fine certainly doesn't mean having illusions of horrible things happening to you even after you wake up. And I'm not even counting all the times you've had an attack in the day time."

"Amanda managed to cope with it for more than six years… I'll… cope. Plus, I'm already getting better help than she had at first. As much as I don't think they like me, the Rowdies have still helped me when I've had attacks... for now anyway."

"Amanda didn't have attacks multiple times every night and day, did she?"

"I… I don't think so… I hope not… she had good days and bad days..."

Todd's brow creased at the thought, Dirk feeling guilt running through his emotions again.

"Well from what I can see, you've been having only bad days, and very bad days. Which brings me to my next point. Probably the reason why you're getting attacks so frequently... Todd, we need to talk about what happened at Blackwing."

Todd's axe suddenly struck hard into the chopping block, the piece of wood he had been chopping splintering into multiple pieces at the force. He paused for a moment, before grunting, straining to loosen the axe back out.

"Todd."

"There's nothing to talk about, Dirk."

"Yes there is, Todd. You can't keep ignoring it and pretending like nothing ever happened."

"Nothing did happen. We were there, we escaped. You're fine, I'm fine, Amanda's fine. It's all fine." He roughly hacked at another piece of wood, cutting halfway through. He had lifted the axe to finish slicing it when Dirk's stopped him, his hand encircling the handle of the axe and slowly pulling it down.

"You and I both know that's not true, Todd. You're _not fine_ and you can't just keep pretending that you are."

Todd opened his mouth to retaliate, but Dirk glared at him, cutting him off before he could start.

"And I'm not fine either."

At that, Todd's wide blue eyes glanced at his friend, concern marring his features.

"I'm not fine, Todd, and I'm not going to keep pretending I am. It's my fault. You came to rescue _me_. I was the reason they managed to capture you and do… all those horrible tests on you. _I_ dragged you into my life, into _all that_ … and you got hurt because of me."

Todd quickly shook his head at the confession.

"Dirk, it's not your fault. Amanda was right. If I hadn't had an attack in the vent, or if Vogel had been with us… we would've gotten away in time."

"But if it wasn't for me, you wouldn't have been there in the first place, Todd. You know, when we were there, together in the beginning, I was so thankful that someone was with me, that I wasn't… alone anymore. But then they started taking you for the… the tests… and then things got worse… and then that time you didn't even come back for _five days…_ "

"Stop. It was fine, Dirk… stop."

"No, it wasn't fine. You were just _gone_. And I begged them to give you back to me. Even as they did… did some really horrid tests to me too… I begged them and begged them. And then, they finally gave you back, but you were _not fine_ … you were…"

"I said stop!"

Silence filled the air, Dirk finally pausing at the sharp command. Todd gulped for a few moments, blue eyes wavering with unshed tears. Slowly, he slid to the ground, dropping the axe, leaning against the chopping block and hugging his knees to his chest. Dirk blinked away the tears that had welled in his own eyes, crouching down to join him.

"I'm fine… I was fine... they didn't… didn't do anything to me."

Dirk scowled, reaching out to lightly place his hand over one of the bandages still encased around Todd's forearm.

"Todd..."

"Okay, so they did some things… but it was… my brain… the pararibulitis... just messes things up…"

"Todd… we know what they did… were doing, to you. We all saw it."

Todd turned sharply to face Dirk, his brows creasing.

"That night… when Dr Schultz… when she was doing her test on you with the electricity, just before we got away… we were hiding in the vents waiting for the right moment to go in to get you... We saw everything."

Todd drew a shuddered breath, a tear finally escaping from the corner of his eye. He hugged tighter into himself, eyes focused intently on the ground before him.

"And she, the doctor, right before Bart shot her… she told us all what she was testing… how they made your attacks worse… how they would _trigger_ an attack on purpose by hurting you..."

"I… I'm fine…" Todd whispered, more to himself than to Dirk.

"You're not fine, Todd. Stop saying that you are. I know you're not fine. I can feel that you're not fine. You haven't been fine since… since we were at Blackwing. I know that you feel scared. All the time."

Todd's eyes slowly slid over to study Dirk.

"What do you mean?"

"I can feel you, Todd… I… I don't know how it started happening... But while we were there, I realised that I could feel you. Feel what you were feeling, and even sense where you were… it's like, we're somehow connected... that's how we found you through the vents."

"You mean… you can read my mind?"

"No... not exactly… just… your emotions?"

"You have been reading my mind all this time? How… no… no, you're not allowed to just… they're _my thoughts_. You can't just…"

He suddenly pushed himself up onto his feet, turning to glare at Dirk.

"I can't read your mind, it doesn't… doesn't work that way…" Dirk gulped as he also rose to face Todd.

"My emotions then… still… I can't believe you… how _dare_ you?"

"Todd…"

"No… no, you're not allowed to just… just _do that_. I'm fine and I don't need you to climb into my brain without my permission and tell me that I'm not!"

Turning sharply away from Dirk, Todd walked off, heading towards the woods.

"But Todd-"

"Don't follow me!" he added when he heard Dirk's footsteps behind him.

Dirk could only sigh helplessly, watching Todd disappear into the distance.


	9. Chapter 9 - Decision

"Where's Todd?"

Dirk looked up to see Farah approaching.

"Gone," he answered numbly.

"Gone? What do you mean gone? Where did he go?" she panicked, reaching the gun at her side and glancing around suspiciously.

"He went for a walk."

"Oh." She slowly put her gun back.

"Is he alright?... Are _you_ alright?" she asked when she looked down at Dirk again, noticing his red rimmed eyes, the way he was crouched down hugging his knees to his chest. "Dirk?"

"I don't know," was the reply.

"Dirk." She crouched down to join him, making him face her. "What happened?" she asked, this time her tone softening.

"I was trying to talk to him… about… everything that had happened… and he found out that I could feel his emotions… and then he got angry about that… and…" Dirk trailed off, his eyes reddening again.

"You can feel his emo-" Farah began to ask, then thought better of it. "Wait, how long ago was that?"

Dirk shrugged.

"A while… maybe… half an hour?"

Farah frowned, scanning the surrounding woods again. Dirk's eyes suddenly widened.

"What if... what if he has an attack? I didn't even think about that… Farah, we have to go and find Todd!" he suddenly panicked, rising to his feet.

"Okay, okay, calm down Dirk… he wouldn't be dumb enough to wander that far knowing he could have an attack, right? Plus… didn't you say you could read his emotions or something? Can't you just… see if he's having one?"

Dirk bit his lip.

"It doesn't work that way, I can just sense what he's feeling… Plus, Todd wouldn't want me to."

Farah shrugged, glancing around at the woods again. Another moment and Dirk heaved a sigh, closing his eyes.

"Don't tell Todd I did this."

Farah smirked, shaking her head in amusement.

"Scout's honour."

* * *

Todd hurried back down the path he had came, hoping that no one had started worrying yet. He knew he had been gone longer than intended, and the last thing he wanted was to be a further burden on everyone. He was messed up enough as it was. The conversation with Dirk continued to echo through his thoughts, as much as he willed himself not to think about it. Think about the fact that everyone had apparently witnessed what had happened that last night at Blackwing… as if merely being strapped down and experimented on like a lab rat wasn't embarrassing enough…

Farah had seen. He blushed as he thought about it. And Amanda… oh god, _Amanda had seen_.

And then there was Dirk, who apparently could read this emotions or something. Todd had never felt so violated before, knowing now that Dirk _knew_ how scared he had been, how scared he still was. And he _was_ scared. Todd didn't know why, he was meant to be safe now, they were free… but he was still _so scared_ all the time. Heart thumping, jittery, breathless scared. Like he was being chased and needed to escape _all the time_ except there was nothing he was running from and nowhere safe to run to.

 _Crack._

Todd paused, breath hitching when he heard the sound of a branch snapping to his right. Turning slowly, he almost choked on his own breath at the man that appeared before him. A uniformed man… a _Blackwing_ man.

"Todd, I'm not going to hurt you, I just want to talk," the man said slowly, though Todd could barely hear him over the sound of his own heartbeat. He slowly backed away, his heart leaping to his throat when a few steps back and he tripped, landing hard onto his back on the ground. Without wasting another second, Todd scrambled to get back on his feet, but the man had already pounced on him, strong arms wrapping tightly around, binding him.

"No no, I won't go back, don't take me back, no," he heard his own voice screaming, panicked tears blurring his vision as he struggled, bucking and kicking as hard as he could. The arms held fast, his struggles futile.

 _They were here, they were taking him back._

 _He was strapped down again. He couldn't move. The doctor was coming._

 _The scalpel came closer, and with it, Todd knew… pain._

His breath quickened, each breath becoming harder and harder to draw until stars appeared before his eyes.

 _"Oh Todd, you don't want to make things more difficult for yourself now, do you."_

The doctor's voice. Todd suddenly felt his body stilling, his breath choking in his throat.

 _He couldn't stop them. He could never stop them._

His body weakened, heavy limbs burning.

It was then that Todd noticed the buzzing in his ear, his eyes spying a wasp tracing his body, down his arm, landing on his hand. He flinched when it attacked, a sharp deep burn piercing into his skin. More buzzing, he was surrounded...there was no escape.

* * *

"Okay, if he's stayed on the paths, there should only be three ways he could've gone," said Farah, studying the map of the forest in her hands. Around two hours had passed since Todd left for his 'walk'. While Dirk had continued to report he felt nothing untoward in Todd's emotions to signal a pararibulitis attack, the time and threat of the setting sun meant they were now all gathered outside the cabin, ready to form a search party.

"I'm going to wring his neck when we find him," gritted Amanda beside her, though Farah could see the obvious concern in her eyes.

"We'll hold him still for you," smirked Martin, tapping Amanda encouragingly on the shoulder. Amanda shook her head at him, smiling back, calmer.

"Do you remember which direction he started off on, Dirk?" asked Farah, turning to the man.

"Dirk?" she frowned when he didn't answer, instead wandering off towards one of the paths, brows wrinkled in concentration. "Dirk!" she called again when he continued to ignore her.

"Something's happening… it's Todd…" he replied, only turning briefly to acknowledge her before continuing his trek. The group shrugged, following him into the woods until they heard it for themselves. A man screaming… Todd screaming. Quickly they scrambled towards the noise, only to stop abruptly at the sight that greeted them, Todd struggling in the arms of Colonel Riggins. Farah drew her gun at once, the Rowdies growling as they too brandished their various weapons of choice.

"It's okay, it's okay. I'm not here to hurt you," the Colonel stated, backing away, though still pulling a struggling screaming Todd along with him.

"Let him go," Farah ordered, clocking her gun.

"Todd… oh no… Todd!" cried Dirk in distress, panickedly turning his head to and fro from the Colonel to Farah and the Rowdies.

"I promise I'll let him go. Just drop your weapons first, and we can talk," was Riggins' calm reply. "Trust me, I'm unarmed. I just want to talk," he continued. Farah glanced at the man and Todd for a few more moments, before reluctantly placing her gun onto the floor. The Rowdies too lowered their weapons by their side, but kept them in their hands.

"Kick it away," the Colonel ordered. Tensely, Farah obeyed. With a glance at Amanda, Martin signalled for the Rowdies to follow suit, the boys also dropping their implements to the ground.

With a soft sigh, Riggins released his grip on Todd, backing away a couple of steps as the man fell to the ground before them, huddling into a whimpering ball in distress. Dirk was the first to approach, pulling Todd into his arms as he batted his hands over Todd's body, trying his best to rid his friend of the hallucinated wasps attacking him all over, his hallucinated skin already looking red, raw and swollen.

"Todd, they're not real. They're not real," he tried to reassure his friend, though they looked and felt as real to him as he was sure they did to Todd. He glanced back desperately at the Rowdies. Martin nodded, keeping his eyes trained on Riggins. The other three Rowdies moved to surround Todd, the wasps slowly disappearing when the blue haze passed through between them. Once they were done, Todd shakily smoothed his hands over his own arms a few times, as if to reassure himself it really hadn't been real. Still shaking, he sat up, red rimmed eyes glancing wearily at the Colonel before them.

"What do you want?" Farah finally asked, addressing Riggins.

"I need your help," was the reply. "To take down Blackwing."

* * *

"Blackwing had been under review. The committee was ready to shut it down, the whole operation. After everything we've never had any conclusive evidence that we could either use you nor help you," began Riggins, taking a cautious seat on one of the chairs in the den. They had headed back to the cabin, after quickly scanning their surroundings to make sure the man was indeed, as he claimed, alone.

"Then why are you still after us? Why can't you just leave us alone?" demanded Cross, still brandishing the plank he had picked up in the woods.

"Unfortunately, the program got placed in the wrong hands. Wilson got involved, she changed the nature of the operation. She somehow managed to acquire a large sum of funding, recruited Friedkin to take over from me and also Schultz to replace Waters as the head researcher."

Beside him, Dirk felt a shiver run through Todd at the mention of the doctor. He reached over to his friend's shoulder, but Todd shrugged his hand off, causing him to pout.

"Turns out that Wilson was fighting a losing battle regardless. After reviewing the program again, the committee has still decided to let Blackwing go once the funds run out."

"Well, that's good?" asked Farah. Riggins shook his head.

"It's not that easy. That was before Project Alpha happened," he responded, glancing at Todd. Todd ducked his head, hiding from the scrutiny. Dirk felt a lump grow in his throat, though he reluctantly kept his hands to himself this time.

"What Dr Schultz found in her research with pararibulitis, it's far-fetched, but finding that physical manifestation of your energy, it changes the whole angle of the operation. If there is any substantiated evidence to her claims of being able to weaponize your abilities, well, it may just be what Wilson needs to revive funding for Blackwing."

"That's an 'if' though. The doctor is dead," stated Farah.

"Yes, but there is a possibility such evidence exists. Schultz knew the potential value of her research, so she was meticulous in keeping it top secret, even to those working closely with her. The details and evidence she collected from her research on Project Alpha is hidden somewhere within the facility, but no one knows where it is. Wilson has been ransacking the place looking for it."

"And you want us to help you find it," concluded Amanda, scowling at the Colonel.

"I want you to help me find it, and destroy it. And I know if anyone has the best chance of finding something, it's you, Svlad," replied Riggins, glancing directly at Dirk. Dirk frowned, Farah spying his hands fisting at his side.

"It's Dirk," he corrected, a slight blush colouring his cheeks.

Riggins swallowed, pausing.

"Dirk then," he finally acknowledged with a nod. Dirk stole a glance at Todd, but didn't answer.

"And how do we know this isn't just to make us go back?" growled Martin from where he was standing in the corner.

"Yeah, what if you're just going to lock everyone up again… I can't… you can't take us," stammered Vogel, almost on the verge of tears.

"They're right, how do we know this isn't just a trick?" asked Amanda.

"Well, you don't. But I've found you, so you can either kill me, or come with me to bring down Blackwing."

"Don't think that we won't kill you," growled Martin, edging menacingly towards the Colonel, the bat in his hand raised.

"Oh, I certainly know you are capable of that, Martin. But I know that you know I'm telling the truth. That's why you haven't done it yet."

Martin huffed, glaring intensely at the Colonel for another few moments, before finally lowering his bat with a sigh.

"Look, I'm not going to lie. Going back into the facility will be dangerous. There is always the chance that you will be found by Wilson and taken into custody again. But also know that if I managed to find you here, then it's only a matter of time before Wilson does as well. And even if they don't manage to find you, if Wilson finds the Project Alpha research and they prove that Schultz's claims were substantial, Blackwing will be revived, and potentially with even more power than they currently have. And they will be looking to get you all back."

The group glanced tentatively at each other.

"You wanted to be a detective, didn't you Dirk? How can you be one if you're looking over your shoulder every second?" Riggins continued. "And Rowdy boys, I know you miss your families, your real families. As long as you're on the run, you won't be able to find them or see them again."

"As for you, Todd," the Colonel paused. "Know that if they find Project Alpha's files, or even if they don't, based on Schultz's claims, the first person Wilson will be coming for is you. And not to mention, Amanda."

Todd shuddered, gulping as he glanced at his sister, his breath hitching.

"I know I can't force any of you to come and complete this operation with me. But I can say it is in your best interest to do so. And… I am proud of you, Dirk. Proud of everything you've accomplished outside in the world, the people that you've helped. I would hate to see all that stop."

Dirk gulped, frowning, hearing the words that he had sort so desperately as a child wanting to please. Oddly, they didn't seem to matter so much anymore. Now that he had Todd and other people he genuinely cared about.

"And you too, boys," Riggins continued, this time addressing the Rowdies. "You have accomplished so much more than I anticipated in the years you've been out. I'm sure your families would be proud of each of you."

The Rowdies glanced at each other, then cautiously back at Riggins.

"So what do you say? Will you help me take down Blackwing?"

Silence descended upon the group as each contemplated Riggins' proposal. Surprisingly, it was Todd who spoke first.

"I… I will go," he uttered, fearful and wide blue eyes blinking rapidly at the Colonel.

"Todd?" questioned Dirk, turning to face the man.

Todd bowed his head, his brow tensing.

"I… I want to go…" He drew an audible breath. "You're right, Dirk. I'm not fine. I _am_ scared. I'm scared all the time. I'm scared they'll come for me, I'm scared that I'll be tied down on that chair again, and I'm _so scared_ they're going to get Amanda... I'm tired of being scared. I don't want to be scared anymore. I don't want to be on the run. I… I just want them to leave me alone. So… so if going there and destroying… whatever it is, means that Blackwing will go away… I'm in."

His eyes cast upon the ground before him, gleaming with unshed tears.

"I need to do this."

Dirk heaved, swallowing the heavy lump in his throat. He reached out his hand to Todd's shoulder again, this time Todd allowing him.

"Well, you're not going alone, Todd. Because I'm definitely coming with you," he responded. He sighed in relief when Todd gave him a small smile and a slight nod.

"Oh what the heck, sign me up," shrugged Farah, shaking her head at the two men. "It's not like I haven't infiltrated into some top secret government facility twice already, what's a third time? Plus, someone needs to know how to use a gun properly in there now that Bart's gone."

"Well, if Farah's going, then count me in," grinned Amanda. "Plus, I have to keep Todd out of trouble, don't I?"

"Amanda, you are not going," Todd retorted at once, frowning at his sister. "What will I tell Mom and Dad if anything happened to you?"

Amanda scowled at her brother.

"The same thing I would tell Mom and Dad if anything happened to you? Oh and wait, I don't remember being the one that got captured last time? I'm going Todd. You're not the boss of me."

"Amanda-" Todd pleaded, but was interrupted by Martin, dangling his arm around Amanda's shoulder, smirking.

"Well, if Amanda's going, that means we're going too. Don't worry, _Toad_ ," he continued, Todd groaning at the nickname that Amanda used to tease him with when they were kids and she was mad at him. "We'll take care good care of drummer girl."


	10. Chapter 10 - Blackwing

The long drive back to the facility was tense to say the least. Riggins had left on his own to organise his part of the operation, leaving them with instructions on how to get into the facility once they got there. Dirk was seated at the back again, this time with a conscious, though brooding and tense, Todd. Amanda had left them to join Farah and Vogel in the middle, while the rest of the Rowdies sat up the front taking care of the driving.

"So, Todd, how about a game?" asked Dirk after almost an hour of continued silence that was making him fidgety. Todd scrunched up his brows, turning from the window to glance at Dirk.

"What game?" he finally responded drearily, drawing a sharp breath when his body tensed, trembling.

"Are you-"

"I'm okay," he quickly cut Dirk off before he could ask. "I'm… fine…" he trailed off, looking out the window once more.

"So… game?" Dirk tried again after a moment. Todd sighed.

"Fine… what game do you want to play?" he asked, turning back to Dirk.

"Well… I was kind of hoping you'd know a game… I… haven't really played games before in a car," Dirk replied, shrugging and eyeing Todd keenly.

"Huh? How-" Todd paused, staring at the man before him for a second, before shaking his head, as though he just realised it was Dirk he was talking to. "Like I spy?"

He scowled when he heard Amanda snorting, obviously eavesdropping in on their conversation.

"I spy… that sounds like an interesting game! How do we play it? Does it have anything to do with spies?" enthused the man beside him. Todd did all he could not to roll his eyes, reminding himself that it wasn't Dirk's fault he never had a proper childhood.

"No, you just choose something you see, and you say 'I spy with my little eye something beginning with' and then the first letter of whatever you chose, and the other person guesses what it is," he explained. "It's for kids."

"Oh… so like, I spy with my little eye someone beginning with 'A'?" asked Dirk, widening his eyes and staring obviously at his 'object'.

"Amanda?" asked Todd, this time actually rolling his eyes.

"Wow Todd, you guessed it!"

"Dirk, you're meant to make it… less obvious what you are choosing. Like…" Todd scanned his surroundings. "I spy with my little eye something beginning with A," he continued, spotting an ant on the window.

"Hmm… Amanda?" guessed Dirk, smiling when the girl turned around to grin at him.

"No, you already used Amanda."

"Umm… is it air?"

"I can't see air, Dirk."

"Okay, how about an armadillo?"

"What? Do you even see an armadillo?"

"Well, no, but maybe _you_ have?"

Todd rolled his eyes again.

"I haven't seen an armadillo, Dirk."

"This game is hard, Todd."

Todd closed his eyes, willing off what felt like an impending headache.

"I don't even want to play this."

"How about an alligator?" Dirk tried again, ignoring him.

Five more guesses from Dirk, and each getting more ridiculous later, and Todd was ready to crack his head against the window to knock himself out.

"Oh for gosh sakes, it was an ant!" he finally cried, exasperated. "Aren't you meant to be psychic or something?"

Dirk pouted.

"I'm not psychic."

"Says the guy who apparently can read my thoughts," muttered Todd bitterly.

"For the nineteenth time, I can't read your thoughts, Todd! I just… sense emotions?"

"Yeah, _my_ emotions."

"It's not like I can help it. I don't even know how it happens. I've… actually never been able to do that with anyone else."

"Great, and I should thank you for the privilege then?"

Dirk shrugged, his expression hurt.

"Todd, what is wrong with you? Stop being such an asshole to Dirk," scolded Amanda, turning around from her seat to shove her brother. "You _should_ thank him, if it weren't for Dirk we'd never have found you last time."

"Fine. Thanks a lot," the man muttered, shrinking back into his seat, crossing his arms and scowling.

Dirk sighed. It was going to be a very long ride after all.

* * *

They arrived at the facility on time as planned, parking the van a fair way out and covering the last couple of miles by foot. Without Ken's help in cloaking the security systems, they needed to be a lot more careful this time, though Riggins did promise them he'd take care of the surveillance within the facility. Once they were inside (following Riggins' instructions to meet up with an Officer Z and give him a specified password), they split up into groups, using the vents again to get to their assigned search locations undetected. This was how Dirk now found himself crawling up the front in one of the so very cold vents again, Todd and Gripps following behind him (they had assigned a Rowdy to both Todd's team and Amanda's team in case either of them had an attack).

"So… where are we going?" asked Todd, following Dirk around yet another corner in the vents. In working with the way Dirk did things, their group hadn't actually been assigned a search parameter.

"Well, usually, I need to just go, and I will be where I need to be. You should know how this works now, Todd."

"Sure, but it doesn't make it any less weird."

"Hmm," hummed Dirk, glancing out another vent. "No, not that one."

"We don't even know what we are looking for… so how do you know we haven't passed it?" asked Todd, shuddering as he remembered the ice that encased him last time he was in one of these vents.

"Again, I will be exactly where I need to be-"

"Right," cut off Todd, sighing as they made another turn. They continued to crawl for a while, Todd feeling his hands and knees starting to numb before Dirk suddenly came to an abrupt stop, causing Todd to curse as he crashed into him, Gripps also crashing into Todd from behind. The three men were thrown forward, Dirk at the front being pushed with enough force to knock against a vent panel, the panel giving way. All three toppled out into a thankfully deserted corridor.

Dirk grinned as he picked himself up off the ground, ignoring the pained protests of the two men beside him as they untangled themselves.

"See, we're meant to get out here then."

* * *

"Uh… Farah?" called Amanda, gesturing to the little girl staring expressionlessly at her from inside one of the cells. Their team, consisting of the two of them plus Vogel, had been assigned Area A, and after locating the area through the vents, they had crawled out to search on foot. Farah turned around now, backing away slightly in surprise when she also saw the girl, who was gesturing desperately at them with her hands.

"Help me?" said Amanda.

"Huh?"

"Help me. She's signing 'help me'," she repeated, glancing at Farah.

"You can read sign language?" asked Farah, raising a brow in admiration. Amanda smiled.

"I was stuck at home a lot, remember? Do you think we can get her out?"

Farah glanced at the lock on the door, then fished inside her pocket for the override device Ken had made for them last time.

"That shouldn't be a problem."

A beep, and the door unlocked, the little girl rushing out to throw her arms around Amanda. Pulling away after a moment, she signed some more, glancing desperately at the three of them.

"She saying to please help the others too," translated Amanda.

* * *

Once out of the vent, Dirk, Todd and Gripps crept down a deserted corridor, stopping when they reached the end and it split in two directions.

"So, which way?" Todd asked, turning to Dirk.

"Hmm… they look equally good," said Dirk, glancing one way to the other. "Ooo, duck!" he suddenly yelped, spying an agent walking past. Without hesitation, the three of them managed to dive behind a nearby trolley, but the agent had already seen them, pulling out his gun. Panicked, the three men ran down one of the corridors with the trolley in tow as a shield.

"You were saying?" yelled Todd as they raced further down the corridor until they reached another dead end, the agent continuing to follow them, yelling at them to stop, and now firing a few stray bullets in their direction.

"Oh dear," muttered Dirk, ducking quickly again when a bullet sped past, missing his head by merely an inch. "It's like he wants to kill us," he cried.

"Not on my watch," gritted Gripps suddenly, stopping and somehow pulling out a metal pipe from his pant pocket. He stood up, Todd gasping when the saw the agent aim his gun squarely at the Rowdy. Acting on pure instinct, Todd pushed the trolley they had been hiding behind towards the agent with all his might. Time seemed to slow down to Dirk as he watched the trolley collide into the agent sending him flying just as he pulled the trigger, the bullet from his gun ricocheting off a metal door and back towards the man as he landed hard onto the ground. Bullet found flesh, burying itself into the agent's arm. He dropped his gun. The metal door slowly swung open from the force of the bullet. The three of them silently shared a look before Gripps jumped into action, pouncing on the now disarmed agent.

"Go!" the Rowdy ordered the other two, throwing his pipe to Todd. He scowled when they heard footsteps running towards them, the previous commotion having attracted more attention. With a quick snap against the floor, Gripps knocked the agent on the floor unconscious, picking up his gun.

"Go, I've got this," he repeated, glaring at Dirk and Todd. Still heaving breathlessly, Todd nodded gratefully at the Rowdy, before grabbing Dirk's hand and pulling him through the door that had opened, slamming it shut behind them.

* * *

"In there?" Farah asked the girl who was gesturing towards one of the doors to a different corridor. She nodded, signing back at her.

"Yes, we can start here," translated Amanda.

"Start?" questioned Farah, glancing at Amanda who shrugged.

"Martin said they locked all the others up too," burst out Vogel, beginning to pace around in distress until Amanda lay a hand into his shoulder to calm him.

"Others?" enquired Farah. Vogel nodded jerkily.

"Others like us. And like Dirk and Bart… and Todd."

"Do you know how many there are?" Amanda asked, turning back to the little girl. The little girl shook her head.

"No, but I think I can find where they all are," she signed to Amanda.

"Well," concluded Amanda, glancing at Farah. "Looks like we've got work to do."

* * *

"You're a fantastic assistant, Todd," commented Dirk as they walked down yet another corridor. "Great intuition to push that trolley into the scary man like that."

Todd creased his brows, still feeling his heart racing from the exchange.

"Right."

Dirk nodded.

"Of course, Gripps wasn't too bad either. And I sure hope he's okay holding off those other men." He paused, glancing around.

"Now, where is what we're looking for," he murmured, coming to a stop at a part of the corridor with a door on each side.

"Hmm… left," he concluded, reaching for the handle just as Todd uttered "right," at the same time, also reaching for the other handle. Todd raised an eyebrow at him.

"Left then?" he asked.

"Hmm, no, let's go with right," said Dirk.

"But… we're following you aren't we? Your special non psychic intuition thing?"

"Well… yes, definitely not psychic. But… my intuition _is_ telling me that I should follow you Todd… plus, the left door is locked," he finished, smiling sheepishly.

Todd raised an eyebrow at him again.

"That's not an issue, we still have the device Ken made to open it. Plus, if the files we're looking for is so top secret, wouldn't they be more likely to be inside the locked door?"

"Maybe, or maybe it's inside the unlocked door?"

"Whatever," sighed Todd, gulping before cautiously pushing ajar the door to their right. The door squeaked a little as it opened, revealing a small room, lines of labelled drawers inside.

"Storage of some kind?" He shrugged, turning to Dirk. Dirk merely frowned, walking inside. Todd followed behind him.

"These symbols, I've seen them before," gasped Dirk, studying the markings on each drawer. He paused suddenly, pulling one opened, gasping when he looked inside.

"My shirt!" he exclaimed excitedly, grinning like a kid on Christmas morning as he pulled out a clearly labelled specimen bag containing a Mexican Funeral t-shirt from the drawer. Todd hesitantly peeked in, spying Dirk's jacket in another bag, along with the rest of Dirk's clothes all neatly packaged and labelled. Glancing to the next drawer, he absently ran his finger along the neat black lines of the imprinted symbol. Hesitantly, he pulled the drawer open, shuddering at the neatly packaged and labelled bags inside, each containing one item of his clothing from when he had first came to rescue Dirk. In the corner of the drawer, he also spied his phone and the small orange bottle containing his pills.

"That's better! How do I look, Todd?" Dirk suddenly asked, drawing his attention. He was proudly grinning, having slipped the slightly tight t-shirt on over his sweater. Todd couldn't help smiling at the sight.

"It's an improvement," he jested. Taking another shaky breath, he turned back to the drawer filled with his things again. Somehow, seeing his old clothing stored like this in separate and marked bags felt violating, as though confirmation of how they had all been lab rats for the doctor. He looked up when he felt Dirk's hand on his shoulder.

"Did you want to take anything, Todd?"

Todd glanced at his things again, his hand hesitantly hovering over his bottle of pills for a moment, before returning to his side, shaking his head.

"Let's see what's behind the other door then."

Todd nodded numbly, closing the drawer with a click.

* * *

"So much for being inconspicuous," said Amanda, staring at the carnage before her, agents strewn across the floor and walls, blood splattered around.

"Gripps!" Vogel suddenly yelped excitedly, running up to the man. Gripps was also covered with blood, brandishing a gun in each hand. He turned towards them, nodding in acknowledgment, eyes scanning curiously at the small crowd of the others they had rescued following behind them. "Are you okay?"

"Not my blood," was the stoic reply.

"Where are Dirk and Todd?" asked Farah.

"We got separated," Gripps answered. "I dealt with these guys while they went to find the files."

"Who are they?" he added, now glancing at the people following the three of them.

"Hi… I'm… I'm Jacob," introduced the man standing closest to Amanda, waving his hand, his eyes blinking nervously with every word.

"Uh… thanks Jacob," said Amanda, grinning awkwardly at the man. "They're others that have been taken here. We're helping them get out."

"We have to find Martin and Cross," cut in Vogel, "and then we have to go."

"Is that everyone then?" asked Gripps, gesturing to the crowd again. Amanda looked towards the small girl standing just behind her, nodding when she signed to her.

"One more wing to go."

Farah scanned her eyes over the many bodies again.

"Unfortunately, it doesn't look like our presence is going to be hidden for much longer. New plan of attack. Vogel and Gripps, find Martin and Cross and start getting everyone out of here," she ordered the two Rowdies. "Amanda and I will go and release the others, then get Dirk and Todd."

"What about the files?" asked Gripps. "Don't we still need to find that?"

"Dirk will find it," she answered confidently. "… and he better do it soon."

* * *

Once unlocked, the door to the left, which Dirk had initially wanted to go in, led them down another corridor. Another few twists and turns later, they stumbled upon what looked like a small office, papers scattered everywhere atop a desk in the centre, the name Dr D. Schultz displaying proudly on a nameplate near the edge.

"This must be Dr Schultz's office," said Dirk, staring around in amazement at the mess before him. Todd gulped, feeling his heartbeat speed up.

"Looks like it has already been searched," he supplied, staring at the open drawers, files spilling out everywhere and scattered across the room. "Should we… I mean, is it worth searching it again?"

"Hmm," was Dirk's reply as he paced into the room, towards the desk, only to end up tripping over a pile of books and landing hard on the ground. "I guess so," he moaned, Todd regarding him with equal amounts of amusement and concern. After helping him up, they began sorting through the piles, looking for any signs of pararibulitis, Todd's name, or Project Alpha.

"Todd, are you okay?" Dirk asked when he noticed his friend seemed to be shaking (he could also sense his fear, but tried to block that out thinking that _Todd_ wouldn't like him sensing it). Todd looked up at him from the file he had been going through.

"Uh huh… I just…" He paused, swallowing hard. "I don't know…"

"Maybe you should sit down?" suggested Dirk, pulling out the chair from the desk. "If… if that's what you want to do…"

To his surprise, Todd nodded, his brows creasing as he carefully made his way over to the chair, even allowing Dirk to help him down into it.

"Do you need your pills?" asked Dirk once he was seated. He knew Amanda had given him a bottle of them just in case when they left the cabin.

Todd shook his head.

"It's not pararibulitis… I… I just need a moment," he responded. "It's just that… ever since we came in here…" he trailed off.

"You can feel it, can't you? What I'm feeling," he suddenly asked, glancing up at Dirk.

Dirk pouted, looking away.

"I haven't been… or trying really hard not to-"

"What is it?" asked Todd to his surprise, cutting him off. "What am I feeling?"

Dirk frowned, wondering if Todd was testing him for any reason. He sighed when Todd continued to stare at him expectantly.

"Fine… as long as you promise you won't get mad."

Todd nodded.

"I can feel fear… you're scared… and more than usual. I mean, more than usual after everything that's happened..."

Todd gulped, nodding again.

"I don't know why, Dirk… maybe it's because we're here in… in this place… in _her_ office, but… I thought I could just get over it," whispered Todd, taking a slow breath to try and will his heartbeat to slow. Dirk bent down, cautiously placing a hand over Todd's knee.

"Todd," he began, but paused, suddenly squinting curiously under the doctor's desk, now at his eye level.

"What is it?" asked Todd.

"There's a strange bit here…" He reached in, running his finger over the uneven surface, his eyes widening.

"It's a secret button!"

* * *

Dirk wasted no time in pressing the button he found, grinning maniacally when a bookcase to their side slowly shifted to reveal a door.

"A door!" he gasped with grandiose, even though he was simply stating the obvious, as Dirk would. Despite the situation, Todd couldn't help but smile and shake his head at the man for doing it.

"This looks like a scanner of some sort," Dirk mumbled, studying the lock on the door. "Ooo," he exclaimed excitedly, straightening to turn to Todd. "It's one of those hand print reader thingys!"

"Great. And it probably needs the doctor's own handprint to unlock," sighed Todd, weary of yet another obstacle.

"Well… that would make sense… but surely, the doctor would've programmed it to take another print besides her own in case anything happened to her," reasoned Dirk, his brows scrunching deep in thought.

"That would be if she was expecting anything to happen to her… I don't think she knew she was going to… die?"

"Still… it's the CIA… they _must_ have some sort of back up access."

"Okay... even if they did… it'd be… Major Wilson or someone right?"

"Hmm… no, not her…" Dirk replied, his eyes shifting around. "Someone that anyone would have access to if they were trying to use this data. Someone they would need for this information to be useful."

Todd kept silent this time, noticing the familiar look in Dirk's eyes. The one he would get whenever he was solving something and it was all falling into place in his mind.

"Todd," Dirk suddenly turned around to face him, grinning. "It's you."

"Wait… what?"

"You, Todd. You're Project Alpha. If anyone was going to be accessing this information about… well, you, they would actually need you for it to be useful. You must be the backup access. Quick, put your hand here," Dirk instructed, pointing at the scanner on the door.

"Dirk… that's… that's crazy… they wouldn't… but…"

He sighed, glaring at the man that stared at him expectantly as he got up and walked towards the door. Rolling his eyes when Dirk continued to grin at him, he took another deep sigh, before placing his hand onto the scanner. The scanner blipped, a red light waving over his palm for a few moments, before it blipped again. Then, with a neat click, the door slid open.

"Oh Christ," he cursed softly under his breath.

The two men exchanged a glance, both gulping before walking in.

* * *

The light automatically switched on as soon as they entered, a wall of various screens illuminating before them.

"Password… oh bother," sighed Dirk, glancing at the main screen in the centre. Todd kept silent, glancing around the small room.

"Hmm," Dirk continued. "Todd? Alpha? Brotzman?" he guessed, typing into the console, frowning when it denied him access each time. "It's probably not that easy I guess."

"That's a little strange," Todd uttered, watching Dirk's attempts. "I mean… if the doctor made a way for someone to get in here without her, then she must intend for them to know the password too, right?"

Dirk glanced up from the console.

"That's true, great assisting again, Todd! _You_ must have the password!"

"What? I mean… what?"

"Well, since your hand opened the hand print reader thingy, then they wouldn't just let someone in here to stare at blank screens, would they? You must also have the password."

"I…" Todd paused, his eyes searching through his thoughts. "Unless…"

He paused, releasing a shaky breath.

"There's some sort of mark on my back… I… I saw it in the mirror but it was too far for me to see properly and I just thought… well… I just didn't really want to…"

He took another deep breath.

"It could be a code or something?"

He trailed off, shrugging at Dirk. Dirk's eyes lit up eagerly, but he didn't insist, only reaching out to squeeze Todd's shoulder. Todd sighed, turning around. Swallowing hard, he started unbuttoning his shirt, before slowly gliding it down, revealing his back to Dirk. He tensed, feeling Dirk's fingers brushing his skin.

"What… what is it," he stammered. He felt Dirk's hand on his shoulder again, this time pulling him around to face him.

"I'll try it," he simply said. Todd nodded, his hands fidgeting nervously at his buttons as Dirk punched some letters and numbers into the console. The console blipped, the screens around them lighting up.

 _Subject: Alpha  
_ _DOB: 01281983  
_ _Blood type: O-  
_ _Abilities: Pararibulitis_

Todd gulped, seeing his details appear on the main screen, his photo taken from his driver's licence staring expressionless at them. Glancing to his side, he couldn't help but back away, seeing other details on the smaller screens, images, notes, even footage, all that had obviously been taken while he had been here at the facility.

"This... this is it," said Dirk solemnly, trying his best to concentrate on their task at hand, as much as he wanted to just run and take Todd away from it all. "There… must be a way to wipe these files, or a main drive or something we can take with us?"

He glanced at Todd, who was still silently scanning each screen.

"Todd… I'm… sorry."

Todd shook his head, though his eyes continued searching.

"It's not…" he began, though stopped when one of the screens caught his attention. Slowly, Dirk followed his line of sight, gulping when he saw what Todd was staring at. A video was playing of one of Dr Schultz's "tests". Todd in the video was restrained into the chair at the lab, while one of the researchers made small methodical cuts along his forearm with a scalpel. Video Todd was flinching at every cut, eyes wide in terror, glued to the scalpel each time it made another track.

"Todd," Dirk whispered after a moment, hesitantly reaching out to him. Todd, however, flinched away violently as soon as he made contact, clutching his arms and falling to his knees. Dirk gasped at the blood that came away onto his hand where he had brushed Todd. Looking up he could see deep cuts now appearing across Todd's arms, Todd's large blue eyes staring distressfully at the wounds.

"Todd, it's not real, you're having an attack," Dirk tried to reassure him, noticing that the blood had disappeared from his hand as soon as he pulled them away out of Todd's sight. Kneeling to face the distressed man, Dirk reached out hesitantly again. "Todd, where are your pills?"

Todd didn't respond, his eyes momentarily tuning in to the screen playing the footage again. Todd in the video was no longer merely staring at the scalpel, now screaming instead, straining desperately against strong arms and restraints that held him down.

"Please stop," whispered Todd.

Dirk felt an unwelding lump rise in his throat.

"Stop… please," Todd repeated again. A tear escaping down his cheek.

"Todd, Todd… look at me." Dirk could only utter desperately, until bright blue eyes met his own. "Todd, it's not real… they can't hurt you anymore-"

BANG.

* * *

The sound of a shot sliced through the air. Dirk collapsed to the ground as soon as he felt the exploding pain hit his shoulder.

"Dirk!"

He felt Todd's hands around him, calling out to him in a panic. And Todd's concern for him would've almost have been nice if not for the ever growing throb of excruciating pain, and the blood. Oh yes, there was a lot of that too, wasn't there…

"Target has been shot, ma'am," came a voice through the entrance, making Dirk squint to focus on the new presence. Oh bother, Friedkin. Of course it was Friedkin.

"D… Don't come any closer," he heard Todd stammer beside him, moving to shield Dirk from the Sergeant. From where he was, Dirk could see that his hands were still shaking, deep hallucinated wounds still bleeding freely.

"I didn't say to take the shot, Sergeant," entered another voice, heels clicking as she walked in. Major Wilson glanced down at them, her cold eyes momentarily cutting through the growing fog in Dirk's mind. "Project Alpha, Project Icarus. Nice of you both to join us," she greeted. "And thank you for helping us locate this valuable information."

Studying the various screens around them, she nodded in approval. "Schultz was meticulous."

"Uh… ma'am… something is wrong with him?" spoke up Friedkin, scowling curiously at Todd. Dirk shifted his head to see that the cuts down Todd's arms had gotten worse, the man now almost bent over in double, eyes tightly shut while he tried to will the pain away. Major Wilson squinted her eyes, studying him for a moment, before grinning in realisation.

"You're having one of those 'attacks', aren't you? The disease of yours?"

Todd ignored her question, though Dirk wasn't sure if he would've been able to answer if he wanted to. The Major glanced around at the consoles again.

"You're going to be very valuable to us, Todd Brotzman."

"No," Todd suddenly gritted out. Forcing his eyes to open to focus on the Major.

"No?" asked the Major.

"No… I'm not. We're not… not your… we're not your science experiments…"

The Major laughed in response.

"It seems like you already are, Todd. You see, you and Icarus, and others like you, you have these… abilities. We have a duty to our citizens to keep them safe, and that starts by understanding potential threats."

"But we're... we're not threats. You can't do this to us. We're just _people_."

"You are dangerous _subjects_."

Todd paused, glaring at the Major for a brief moment, before suddenly picking up the metal pipe Gripps had given him, turning around to smash it down hard onto the main screen of the console. The glass shattered in one hit, sending shards of sharp crystals over the four of them. Ignoring the fresh real cuts on his cheeks and arms from the glass, Todd continued to smash the other screens, sending more glass flying, electrical sparks zapping.

"Ma'am?" Friedkin shouted for instruction among the chaos.

"Stop him," Wilson yelled back. The man obeyed immediately, pouncing on Todd, the two of them toppling to the ground. From where he was, Dirk could make out the sounds of fists connecting hard with flesh, the two men grunting as they struggled. He tried to push himself up to try and see if he could give Todd a hand in any way despite feeling like his shoulder was on fire, but paused when he suddenly felt the coldness of metal on his forehead.

He had barely managed to contemplate why it was always him that ended up staring down the barrel of a gun when the pain suddenly exploded. Right through his skull.


	11. Chapter 11 - Best friends

"NO!"

Time suddenly seemed to stand still for Todd. He had turned, and there had been Dirk, the Major's gun flush against his forehead. His own heart was racing, along with a growing throb in his middle where Friedkin had repeatedly punched him, but all he could see was Dirk, and the gun.

Then all at once, everything sped up in double. He heard an explosion in his ears, and blood filled his vision, splattering against his skin. Hot blood that felt like lava, burning him down to the depths of his heart and staining everything red and crimson.

And then there was Dirk, a bullet hole right in the middle of his forehead.

DIRK...NO... no no no… Dirk… DIRK!

Everything seemed to be screaming and ringing and buzzing all at once. In a blur, he somehow made it to Dirk's side, pulling him into his arms, shaking him, willing him to wake up, to be alive , because he wasn't allowed to do this. He wasn't allowed to die and leave Todd like this. He was the one who had barged his way into Todd's life, made Todd care about him, made Todd be his friend , so he wasn't allowed to leave now. Because friends weren't allowed to just leave.

Vaguely, Todd thought he could hear Dirk calling him, calling his name. But Todd knew it couldn't have been Dirk. Because Dirk was laying in his arms, and Dirk had been shot, and Dirk was… Dirk was dead. Bullet to the head. And there was so much blood.

And everything was suddenly all too much. Too much. Todd felt his heart beating too fast too fast. He couldn't breath.

Explosions ripped and rang in his ears. Suddenly he could hear Amanda. And Farah. And more people still. Screaming and chaos surrounded him.

Somewhere through he all, he could make out Amanda yelling at him, trying to pull Dirk from his arms.

Let him go, Todd. It's okay.

It wasn't okay. He wouldn't let go. He couldn't.

Todd, let Dirk go, you're hurting him.

He wasn't hurting Dirk. He couldn't be. Dirk was dead.

Todd… Dirk's okay. You need to let him go.

Dirk wasn't okay.

Todd… Todd… it's okay...

Dirk's voice now. He could hear Dirk's voice. But it couldn't have been Dirk.

Todd's heart continued to beat too fast. And he still couldn't breath. And darkness was taking over.

And maybe it didn't matter, because Dirk was dead.

His friend was dead.

His best friend.

* * *

Beep... Beep... Beep... Beep... Beep...

Todd slowly opened his eyes, finally succumbing to the persistent beeping that had been threatening to pull him from the fog of blissful nothing for the past as long as his mind could remember. Blinking, he scanned the room, taking in the white curtains, white sheets… and of course, the beeping. Beeping... machines… was he back at Blackwing? Was he...

"Dirk!"

He suddenly sat up, memories assaulting him all at once. Pain exploded somewhere in his middle, and his body collapsed back down onto the soft sheets that surrounded him.

"Dirk?" he managed to croak again, frowning at the way his voice didn't seem to work above a whisper.

"Hey sleep-face, welcome back," greeted a familiar voice. He turned, relief flooding when he saw his sister.

"Amanda…"

"Careful, you don't want to pull out your stitches," she told him, laying a hand onto his shoulder to steady him onto the bed. She pushed a button, his bed gently rising him up so he could face her. "Here, they said to let you drink this when you woke."

She held a glass with a straw to his lips, and he took it gratefully, closing his eyes at the soothing coolness gliding down his throat.

"Where am I?" he asked after a few sips, glancing around at the machines surrounding him.

"Hospital… some small one that Riggins knows people at. Don't worry, the treatment is all free and off the record."

He frowned, blinking groggily, studying her. He felt a twinge of guilt and concern when he noticed the tiredness in her red-rimmed eyes, the pale pallor of her skin, her lack of make-up.

"Amanda… you okay?"

"Yes…" she answered, her eyes downcast. "You scared me, asshole," she added, giving him a slight shove on his shoulder that made him wince. She quickly stopped, her eyes reddening.

"Where's… Dirk? Is… is he…"

He suddenly heaved in panic again, his breath catching at the back of his throat.

"Dirk?"

"Dirk… I… I saw… He..."

He gasped, unable to continue past the lump in his throat. One of the machines to his left began beeping faster as he felt his breath hitching. Amanda's hands were suddenly on his shoulder again, holding him down.

"Hey, you need to calm down, okay? Todd… calm down. Dirk is fine. Dirk is okay."

"But… he…" he tried to retort, though his body obeyed her, his panic calming slightly under her guidance.

"It was a pararibulitis attack," said Amanda softly once he was still again. "You just saw Dirk getting shot. And Dirk saw it too… and felt it for a moment apparently. But then, he realised it wasn't real."

Todd's glanced at his sister, his brows knitted in confusion.

"Yeah, who knew we could even do that with pararibulitis attacks? Just needed the right amount of stress and a special enough victim, apparently. Gnarly, huh?" She shrugged, a slight smile making it's way to her lips. "Dirk said the Major had her gun pointed at him, and then he thought she shot him, because he saw all the blood and felt the pain in his head. Then you suddenly just went kind of crazy, knocked over both the CIA officers before they could even react, and Dirk realised he was still alive, and was only sensing your hallucination or whatever of him being shot. We raced in not long after, Farah, the Rowdies, some others and me. Saved both your asses again, by the way. You're welcome. By then, you had Dirk in your arms, shouting for him and shaking him like some mad man. We had to pry him away from you since his shoulder was bleeding so much, and then you passed out."

Todd could only gape at his sister.

"I..." He glanced around at the various machines again in confusion.

"The doctor said your heart gave out. Adrenalin overdose. You had an implant inside you that was pumping out small doses of epinephrine into your system all this time. That's also why you've been having so many attacks."

"Im… Implant?"

Amanda gulped. "Probably from when you were at Blackwing. But it broke, so you got one large overdose. Dirk thinks it must've broke when that Friedkin guy punched you."

She paused, grimacing to hold back her tears.

"It was really touch and go for a while there. Farah had to do CPR to keep your heart going all the way over - you owe her a big one by the way - but you should be fine now," she finished, turning her face away from him.

Todd gulped. Adrenalin. Was that why… why he had been feeling so on edge... so scared all the time? And yes, he actually felt calmer now that he pondered it. Calmer than he had felt in a long while.

"So, Dirk… he's...?"

"Dirk's fine," reassured Amanda. "He's just in another room down the corridor. He went into shock from all the blood he lost though. Even though he didn't get shot in the head, he did actually get shot in the shoulder, so that's going to be sore for a while. He was quite upset too… something about you telling him not to get shot in that t-shirt he was wearing of your band."

Todd shook his head numbly, letting out a half-breath he didn't even know he had been holding in relief.

"And… the Project Alpha files have been destroyed," she continued. "We… Farah, the Rowdies and I, we rescued all these other people while we were there. People they had taken like they did Dirk. We were getting them all out but some stayed behind and began to riot, smashing everything. It was way gnarly. Then Ken and Bart showed up as well. Bart made them return, said she was meant to be there or something. We all just shot up everything. I think... maybe I killed someone," she hesitated slightly, faltering. "Then Ken did something to the console with all the Project Alpha files. Said he wiped it clean. So that's that."

"You… you killed someone?"

Amanda shrugged, struggling to appear nonchalant, though her eyes were downcast.

"Maybe... I mean, we shot everywhere, and it was either us or them. Still…"

She glanced away, grimacing.

"Anyway," she began after a pause, "we're going to be off soon… I mean, the Rowdies and I… they're kind of getting cabin fever around here."

She smiled at the mention of them.

"They only promised to stay until you woke up. We're probably going to be heading back to Seattle. Dirk said he would like to go back there too… if you will go with him. So maybe I'll see you around."

She stood up, giving him a pat on the shoulder and turning to head towards the door. Todd stared after her for a few steps, feeling a lump rising in his throat.

"Amanda, wait…"

She paused at his call, turning back around. Todd glanced at her, before focusing his bright blue gaze onto his blanket.

"Amanda, I…" He paused, gulping to try and stop the tears he could feel rising in his eyes.

She walked back towards his bed, waiting.

"I'm sorry," he finally managed to mumble out. "I… I know it doesn't make up for… for anything… for lying… and… for all the pain I've caused…" His breath hitched, causing him to cough harshly. He paused, catching his breath and grimacing as the motion jarred his wounds.

"I thought I could fix things… make up for… for everything I've done. But I… I can't fix anything," he whispered. "I really… can't fix anything…"

His face crumpled, no longer able to hold back his tears.

Amanda sighed, watching him sob for a few moments. Gently she laid her hand onto his, catching his attention.

"Todd, I don't want you to fix anything," she told him, squeezing his hand when his breath continued to hitch. "Some things can't be fix. They just are."

He glanced up at her, unable to stop stray tears from continuing to fall.

"I just want you to be truthful with me. I do want to be able to trust you again… but you're going to have to show me that I can, and that means no more lies. Not even if you think you're protecting me."

He opened his mouth to protest, but a glance from her and he stopped. Slowly, eyes downcast, he nodded.

"But you need to stop blaming yourself for everything too," she continued, taking his hand and squeezing it in comfort. "It's not your fault that I got pararibulitis… and it's not your fault that you now have it too. It's not karma, Todd. You might deserve a lot of things, but you don't deservepararibulitis. No one does."

She leaned over, gently wrapping her arms around him.

"Stay with Dirk. Come back to Seattle. And if the attacks get bad… if the pills aren't working, let Dirk call us for help, okay?" she whispered into his ear. He paused, hesitating, but nodded again in agreement.

"Promise?" she asked him, pulling away and holding out her pinky to him. It was something they did as children, to make the most sacred of promises. Todd sniffed, smiling slightly at the gesture. Carefully, he hooked his own pinky around hers and they shook, pressing their thumbs together to seal it.

"So, when did you become the wise and smart one?" he joked softly once their hands untangled.

Amanda straightened, raising her brow at him.

"Umm, since the day I was born, loser," she smirked, playfully slapping him on the arm. "Anyways, I better go and call your boyfriend in. He's been dying to see you."

* * *

"I thought the doctor ordered you to stay in bed?" sighed Farah, reaching out to prevent a certain Dirk Gently from toppling to the ground. A rather pale Dirk Gently, shaking slightly as he held onto the wall with one arm, the other still in a sling.

"Well… yes… but I have a hunch. And you know I always follow my hunches," he retorted, the smug grin on his face causing her to roll her eyes.

"Dirk, you got shot. By a military bullet. And even though it didn't hit anything vital, you lost a lot of blood. You need rest… Where are you going anyway?" she asked, though she kind of felt she already knew the answer. It wasn't like he hadn't sneaked out down the exact same path another twenty times already.

"I will rest. Rest sounds wonderful. Right after I see Todd, of course."

Farah shook her head.

"Amanda said she'd let us know if he woke up. There's nothing you can do for him while he's sleeping."

"But it's been more than a day," he whinged. "And I have a hunch," he replied obstinately, now using her as a crutch while he continued weakly hobbling down the hallway to Todd's room.

* * *

Amanda walked out just as they reached the door.

"Amanda, hi," Dirk greeted as soon as he saw her. "Is Todd…" he began asking as he stepped in. "Todd!" he exclaimed excitedly, grinning at the sight of his best friend and assistant alive and conscious… though looking a little pale, and maybe like he'd been crying? Still, Dirk determined it was a rather fabulous sight.

"See Farah, I told you I had a hunch!"

He quickly clamoured over to the side of the bed, gripping the rail to support himself. The two men faced each other silently, Todd's red rimmed wide blue eyes unblinking.

"Hi Todd," Dirk finally spoke. "I see you're awake. Are you… alright?"

"... Dirk…" Todd uttered softly, his gaze wavering slightly, but still intently focused on Dirk. "You're… here…"

"Well, yes, I had a hunch you were awake… just a hunch by the way. I have absolutely not been trying to sense your emotions or anything, I promise… but I had a hunch and I had to come and see you even though that awfully mean nurse kept glaring at me suspiciously and threatening to tie me to the bed if she caught me out of it again. She wouldn't even let me go to the bathroom by myself, which I can assure you I am completely capable of doing. It was most emb-"

He was cut off when he suddenly felt Todd's arms wrapping tightly around him, the smaller man leaning into him, burying his face into Dirk's shoulder. Dirk felt his legs almost give out under the sudden added weight, but thankfully Farah reacted quickly enough to reach out and support them both.

"Todd?" he started to utter out in shock, but quickly stopped when he noticed that Todd was shaking, muffled sobs that sounded both desperate and relieved filling the silence in the room. Feeling his own tears well up, Dirk carefully lifted his hand (the one that wasn't in a sling) and placed it, at first hesitantly, on Todd's back, then pulling him in tighter when he felt him relaxing under his touch. Gently, Dirk ran his hand in soft circles up and down Todd's back, a gesture he remembered from his mother comforting him long ago. Dirk didn't know how long the moment lasted for, having Todd's arms clinging so tightly and desperately around him, feeling Todd's trembling body under his hand, Todd's hair tickling his cheek. But he really wouldn't have minded if it lasted forever.

Unfortunately, they were interrupted when Farah, who had been supporting Dirk still, suddenly let go, and Dirk's own traitorous weak loss of blood legs faltered under Todd's weight without her help.

"Oh… sorry, Dirk, I thought you were… you know what, nevermind. I'll stay where I was. Just pretend… I'm not even here," she stammered out, reaching out to support him again, but Todd had already pulled away, a tinge of pink colouring his cheeks and ears to match his red rimmed eyes. Dirk felt a wave of heat filling his own cheeks also.

"I'm glad to see you, Dirk" Todd finally spoke, smiling softly at him in a way that made his eyes want to well up all over again. "Back there... I thought that I had lost… that you were…"

"Oh, the shot through my head thing, right? Wow, was that an interesting experience! Even I thought that it was real for a moment. Are your attacks always that painful… oh who am I kidding, of course they are." He gulped, glancing at Todd again. Todd ducked his head bashfully, then drew his attention to the woman standing beside Dirk.

"Hey Farah," he greeted shyly. "Thanks for saving my life. Amanda said that you were the one who... who kept me alive until we got here."

Farah shrugged in response, shaking her head.

"I'm just glad you're okay." She smiled warmly at him.

"Still... thank you," he smiled back. "Dirk, Amanda said that… that you wanted to go back to Seattle?" he continued, turning back to Dirk.

Dirk nodded numbly, his heart not daring to wish.

"Well… I was kind of thinking of… going back too… with you… you know… for the next case."

He glanced down, cheeks flushing pink again, the brush of light freckles standing out. "If… if you want me to."

Dirk could only gape, his mouth almost involuntarily moving into a grin.

"Oh, Todd!" He pulled him excitedly into a hug with his free arm again, though quickly let go when Todd winced from the sudden movement. "Of course we're going back to Seattle. And you're not getting out of the next case even if you tried, seeing as the universe did send you to me as my assistant. And my hunch is that you are really the best assist-friend a holistic detective as brilliant as me could ask for, and as you know, my hunches are never wrong."

He paused, taking a deep breath, then glancing at Farah.

"Farah, how about you, still interested? I believe we have shown once again that we make an unbeatable combination in detective work, finding the files and everything."

Farah shook her head, rolling her eyes and wondered how she came to be stuck with the 'holistic detective' and his unwilling assistant before her, and how she came to care so much about them.

"Hey, I didn't break into a top secret CIA facility three times to let you two off the hook. Yes, I'm still in, and I do expect returns from my investment, Dirk."

"Oh terrific!" exclaimed Dirk excitedly, straightening up a bit to stand on his own. He took Todd's hand into his, maneuvering his hurt arm in the sling to take Farah's hand into his other. "Right. It's settled. Let's do this then," he grinned.

"...Now, if I recall properly, we'd agreed on just having my name on the signage, right?"


	12. Chapter 12 - Epilogue

Dirk had always thought that the universe didn't like him very much. Sure it gave him strange hunches to make connections that helped other people, but it never really helped _him_. In fact, sometimes it almost seemed like it delighted in leading him down paths of misery and trouble, and always leaving him oh so very alone. Yet after everything that had happened, Dirk couldn't help but think maybe the universe was starting to like him just a little. Of course, it wasn't all magic and happily ever afters like in the fairytales he can vaguely recall hearing about in his childhood before Blackwing. There were still going to be life threatening cases that would come his way. He could never replace the Mexican Funeral shirt he had gotten shot in, after Todd had explicitly told him _not to_. And Todd still had pararibulitis. But all things considered, things were looking better than they had in a long time - because he was finally actually free from Blackwing, and he was getting his own detective agency, and _most_ importantly, Todd still wanted to be his assistant-slash-very-very-best-friend.

* * *

 **Hopelessly connected - one week later…**

* * *

CRASH!

"Todd?" Dirk asked curiously, turning to the door from where he had been helping Todd tidy up one of his shelves. "Oh no… oh Todd!" he exclaimed when he saw what had happened, skidding across the floor to his friend's side. Of course this meant he promptly tripped over his own two feet, and planted his hand on some rather broken and sharp glassware that had spilled during Todd's dramatic entrance.

An "argh" and an "oww" joined Todd's screams of torture (because having your feet shredded by metal spikes growing out of your shoes _hurt_ ), before Dirk finally managed to actually scramble his way over to Todd, thankfully avoiding the rest of the dangerous glass spillage.

"Should I call Amanda?" Dirk panicked, helping his friend to sit up with his unhurt hand (though this one was the one still in a sling and twinged when he used it).

"No… just need pills," Todd managed to grit out in amidst his grunts and hollers of pain.

"Okay, pills," Dirk nodded, carefully reaching into each of Todd's pockets, sighing in relief when he felt the plastic pill bottle in his jacket. Fumbling for a moment with the cap (who knew trying to take a child proof cap off with one hand could be so difficult), he finally got it opened, spilling two pills onto the ground before picking them up and offering them to Todd. Eyes glassy, Todd had to will his jaw to unclench for a moment so Dirk could pop them into his mouth.

Slowly, they waited, Dirk's free hand subconsciously gripping Todd's shoulder to try and distract him somewhat from the horrible, albeit hallucinated, state his feet were in. Long minutes later, the spikes finally faded, Todd's feet looking normal again, a slight trembling the only reminder of what had happened.

"You're bleeding," were the first words out of Todd's lips once he felt well enough to speak and form words. He stood gingerly, still remembering the torture of just a few minutes ago, before carefully picking his way through the pile of broken glass to the bathroom, reappearing a few moments later with a clean towel and a small first aid kit. Kneeling down beside a speechless Dirk, Todd carefully took Dirk's hand into his own and pushed the towel down onto the wound, causing the Dirk to wince.

"It doesn't look too deep," he commented, lifting the towel after a moment. He blew on it softly, Dirk feeling the breath as a tingle that somehow ended up all the way into his heart, a warm blush colouring his cheeks. Opening the first aid kit, Todd fumbled around until he found a box of bandages and some alcohol wipes. Ripping open a wipe, he took Dirk's hand again, gently dabbing at the cut.

"Ow," Dirk protested at the sting, instinctively pulling his hand away.

"Don't be a baby," scolded Todd, a half smile on his lips, taking Dirk's hand again. Dirk pouted but bit down further protest, allowing Todd to finish up cleaning his wound.

"Huh, where did these come from?" Todd frowned when he opened the box of bandages to find that they were bright purple. He certainly did not remember buying bright purple bandages. Still, a bandage was a bandage and at least it wasn't _pink_ this time, so he merely shrugged, peeling one and neatly covering it over Dirk's cut.

"There," he concluded once he was done. Dirk glanced gratefully at him.

"Thanks Todd… that was fantastic assisting."

Todd shrugged, bowing his head, his eyes darting back and forth between the purple bandage and the broken glassware around them. Suddenly, a strangled giggle erupted from his lips. Dirk stared somewhat in shock at his assist-friend. Todd continued to laugh, chuckles turning into full blown guffaws, holding his stomach as he tried to draw breaths in between. A moment later, he stopped, just as sudden as how he started, though a small smile still adorned his lips.

"It's all connected, huh," he sighed, shaking his head at Dirk. Dirk shrugged in reply, smiling back.

"Well Todd, _we're_ obviously hopelessly connected."

* * *

 **Moving in - one week and three days later...**

* * *

"I'm moving in with you," announced Dirk as soon as he entered the hospital room. Todd opened his eyes blearily from the bed he was lying on, squinting to make sure he really was awake and not imagining things. No… bright blue jacket. Floppy hair. Definitely Dirk. Though… the red-rimmed eyes were a concern.

"No, don't try to argue with me. We can't let it happen again. I… I can't have _this_ ," Dirk continued, gesturing towards Todd and the machines surrounding him, "happening again."

"Farah, tell him," he concluded, turning to the lady that Todd now noticed was standing behind Dirk.

"It would be safer," Farah supplied. Todd felt her hand take one of his, squeezing. "You gave us a good scare, Todd. Dirk's been inconsolable."

"Well you try finding your best friend and assistant suffocating on an imaginary pond of water in the middle of the night," huffed Dirk, frowning. "And the only reason I went to Todd's was because he had pizza in his fridge and I was hungry."

He glanced down at Todd.

"And _maybe_ I had a hunch..."

Todd nodded numbly, still half suspecting his friends were talking to him in a dream.

"What…" He coughed, frowning at the pain and dryness in his throat, and only now noticing the oxygen mask around his face. "What happened," he tried again, only barely managing to croak out the words.

"Don't you remember? You had an attack," was Farah's reply. "Dirk said you were drowning, and he couldn't get you to breathe."

Todd frowned… drowning… yes, he could recall the drowning now, the way his lungs had burned, the panic of facing death.

"And then there was the blood," added Dirk, going slightly pale at the memory.

"The doctor said you hemorrhaged your lungs from the strain," Farah continued. "Luckily it wasn't too bad, should heal by itself. They're keeping you here for at least another day though."

"And then I'm moving in with you when you get back home," said Dirk. "I can take the couch… though no, I still can't see you through the door if I'm in a different room… and I can be rather asleep when I'm sleeping. No… I'm moving into your room. Your bed should be big enough. I'm a _very_ good sleeper, I can assure you. We shared in the cabin, didn't we? There. It's settled. That way, I'll be right there if anything happens in middle of the night."

Todd blinked wearily at his friend. The friend who really had just saved his life on a 'hunch', and apparently to get pizza. And later, he would totally blame the drugs for messing with his mind, and also the possibility that maybe he wasn't getting enough oxygen. But for some odd reason that he would probably regret later, he nodded.

Dirk grinned.

"Well… that's that then. I'll move in tomorrow."

* * *

 **Getting better - two and a half weeks later...**

* * *

"No… don't… stop..."

Todd gasped, bolting upright, his racing heart a stark contrast to the quiet and cool surrounds he found himself in. He had been strapped down all over again in the chair, in the lab, the doctor's cold and fakingly sweet voice ordering test after test, for them to cut him, and burn him, and _hurt_ him. Shaking, still reeling from what he now knew had been a dream, Todd pulled his knees to his chest, willing his breath to slow down, willing his heart to stop racing.

 _It's not meant to be like this. He was free. Blackwing was gone. He no longer had the implant… So why wasn't everything okay now? Why did he still feel scared? Why did it still hurt so much?_

Todd drew another shaky breath, gulping hard to swallow the lump that had grown in his throat.

 _He was supposed to be getting better. Things were supposed to be okay now._

Another shaky breath and he couldn't help the tears that had welled from spilling over. Couldn't help his breath from hitching. Couldn't help the soft sobs that escaped as he buried his head into his knees, allowing the blanket beneath him to dampen.

 _Who was he kidding? Things were not okay. He was still not fine. Maybe it'll never be okay._

* * *

At first Dirk had thought he was dreaming, or hallucinating, or _something_ , because why else would he be hearing the strange noise that had supposedly woken him. But then his mind somehow told him that the noise, as unfamiliar as it was, sounded strangely _familiar_. And of course, there was that sense of overwhelming emotion that he felt and knew wasn't _his own emotions_ , but that of the very person who was probably making the noise.

"Todd?" he finally whispered, blearily opening his eyes and turning to face his assist-friend. "Todd… are you…" Dirk tried again, though trailed off when he finally was able to take in Todd's form by the light seeping in through the blinds. Todd was sitting up, his head buried in his knees, his shoulder hunched over, hitching with every gasp that escaped him. Definitely the source of the strange noise that had woken Dirk.

"Todd… Todd, do you need your pills?"

He sat up in a panic, suddenly fully awake, reaching out to his friend and studying him as best he could in the dim light. Todd shook his head, trying to turn away.

"M'fine," he managed to mutter out, though his breath continued to hitch uncontrollably with every sob. Dirk breathed a small sigh of relief that it wasn't an attack. Still, he realised with a sinking heart, Todd needed to calm down before his emotions actually triggered an attack.

"Todd," he slowly uttered, somehow hating that he had to do this, because Dirk thought if anyone deserved to have a good cry in the dark, it was probably Todd. "You need to calm down."

Dirk waited minutes, panic growing when despite his best attempts, Todd's sobs and gasps only seemed to grow more desperate.

"Sorry… I'm trying," he gasped out between the sobs, but more tears kept falling.

Hesitantly, Dirk reached towards his friend again, running his hands down his back to try and help.

"Would… would it help if I… held you?" he finally asked when he felt Todd calming a fraction, but not entirely enough. Todd stopped for a moment to glance at him in surprise, his blue eyes reflecting an ethereal glow in the moonlight.

Carefully, without waiting for an answer, Dirk pulled Todd into his arms, careful not to startle him. He closed his eyes, a part of him bracing for Todd to push him away. Instead, he felt Todd lean into him, his hands gripping desperately at Dirk's shirt. Slowly, in his arms, he finally felt Todd's breathing even out, hitching sobs turning into soft sniffles.

After a long moment, Todd lifted his head to look at Dirk, though he didn't pull away.

"Thanks," he whispered, his cheeks blushing red in the pale glow of the moonlight. "I just…" He trailed off, leaning his head down onto Dirk's shoulder again. "I don't know… I thought things would be better by now. That things would be okay. But… When you left them… before… when you were young… did… did it ever get better?"

Dirk held Todd tighter again, swallowing down the lump in his throat.

"Yes… it will get better," he answered. "Eventually it gets… better."

* * *

 **All his fault - one month later...**

* * *

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Dirk asked for the umpteenth time since they had started driving. Todd sighed, glancing at the house before them. The run-down one bedroom townhouse that was the only thing his parents could afford to rent after selling their own house to fund his lies.

"I have to do this… you know that, Dirk."

Dirk nodded, his hand tightening slightly over the wheel.

"I'll wait here for you?"

Todd shook his head.

"You should go… I… I don't know how long this is going to take." He gulped, studying the pattern on the dashboard of their newly rented corvette. Dirk nodded again, pursing his lips.

"You'll call, right? For me to pick you up?"

Todd only gave a slight nod in affirmation. Dirk stayed for the next few moments, watching his assist-friend stiffly make his way to the door.

* * *

Dirk had only been driving around for about half an hour when he returned, not really having anything particular that he was being drawn to do anyway, and feeling a hunch that he should be with Todd. As his hunches go, Todd appeared just as he pulled up at the kerb, standing forlornly at the door that had been slammed in his face. Seeing Dirk, he expressionlessly made his way over to the car, getting into the passenger seat. It was a silent drive all the way back to their apartment in the city, Todd's eyes staring glazed at the dashboard, and Dirk at a loss of words for once.

* * *

 _"Todd, we're at the hospital. It's your sister…"_

 _That was all he had heard over the phone from his father before he had raced out the door. Now at the hospital, he paced quickly towards the waiting area the nurse had directed him to, only to stop abruptly at the entrance, his breath catching as he took in the defeated look on his father's face, the huddled form of his sobbing mother._

 _"Dad… Mom… what happened?" he finally asked when he found his voice, his heart beating fast and steady in his chest._

 _"Amanda… she… she had a pararibulitis attack," his father answered._

 _He gulped, feeling the nerves tingle at the back of his neck._

 _"But… how… are you sure? I mean… she doesn't have…"_

 _His mother let out another sob._

 _"The doctors are still running some tests, but…" His father sighed. "We thought since you already got it… we'd get lucky with her but… both our kids… what are the chances?"_

 _His dad trailed off, burying his head into his hands._

 _'Not both your kids… just one, and definitely not the one who deserves it,' Todd thought to himself. Why Amanda? Of all people, of everyone in their family and extended family… why Amanda (and why not him… he had lied about it for so many years after all)._

 _"So… what's next?" he asked, his voice wavering. The only thing he could really think of to say. To break the sound of his mother's sobs, and the feeling of his own heart thumping tightly and loudly against his chest. His father shook his head slowly, shifting to beckon Todd to sit beside him._

 _"We don't know son… the treatment is expensive, as you know. We-"_

 _"But she needs it… I mean-"_

 _"We know, son. We know. And we will do our best to support the both of you. But… to tell you the truth, we don't think we can afford it."_

 _Todd gulped. He had seen Aunt Esther when she didn't have treatment. Even though the treatment really hardly worked… without it was something else. He couldn't let his baby sister go through that. He just couldn't._

 _"You know… I… I haven't really had an attack for a very long time… I… I think I'm better now. You… you don't have to send me money anymore."_

 _"Oh Todd," his mom spoke up, face scrunching as more tears fell down her cheeks, taking his hand into her own. "That's wonderful you're doing better." She smiled, despite the grief in her eyes._

 _"Yeah." He forced a smile back at her. "So… Amanda can get the treatment instead of me, right?"_

 _A shake of the head from his father, and Todd felt the lump in his throat growing._

 _"We didn't know how to break it to you son… but I got laid off my job six months ago… and well… all these years we had no savings left after buying your medicine. We found out we're losing the house this morning. That's when your sister…" He trailed off, swallowing back his tears. "There is no more money, son. We have no more money."_

* * *

Todd retched into the porcelain toilet bowl in his bathroom, the sudden bolt of nausea threatening to overwhelm him. He still remembered the day clearly, as though it had been yesterday. The day his sister got pararibulitis. The day he felt the ground actually slipping from under his feet, and he was falling and falling. Todd wasn't even sure he had ever stopped falling. He had ran out soon after seeing Amanda that day. He had scrambled home and found everything that was of any value in his apartment to sell. Days following he had walked for miles begging for work, willing to do almost anything. For weeks and months and even _years_ , he had lived off bread and water and instant noodle packs, saving and scrimping every cent for Amanda's treatment. But the guilt never went away, because it was _all his fault_. He had squandered his family's life savings and his sister was the one to suffer the consequences. So even though Todd did everything he _could_ for Amanda, nothing ever was fixed. It was still _all his fault._

He retched again, bringing up the remainder of his lunch into the bowl.

 _"Get out. I don't have a son. Leave."_

His Dad's words from today echoed in his mind. His mother hadn't even been able to look at him after he had told them the truth. He could still remember the way her hand that had been resting affectionately on his back had suddenly dropped. The empty numbness he had felt in the very spot where it had been.

 _You don't deserve them anyway._

Retching once more, he could see stars behind his eyes. Another time, and he noticed the white porcelain was somehow dotted with red drops… blood. The blood kept coming. He couldn't stop.

* * *

"Todd! Todd… are you okay? Open up… Todd!" Dirk banged desperately at the locked door outside Todd's bathroom. He had somehow silently made it up the stairs with the brooding man, when Todd had suddenly whispered something about needing to be alone and locked himself away in the only room in the whole decrepit apartment that had a lock. Half an hour of nothing, and he had sent a text to Amanda to come. Five minutes later, and the sound of retching and heaving had drawn him to desperation.

"Todd!" he shouted again, running up to barge at the door only to hold his shoulder in pain from the impact. Luckily it was at this moment that a holler of euphoria sounded in the hallway outside and the next thing Dirk knew, he was on the ground, staring up at four rowdy men making short work of breaking the bathroom door open.

"Todd!" Dirk's heart quickened at the sight of his assist-friend and the copious amount of blood dripping from his mouth and all around. Quickly crawling over to him, Dirk found himself suddenly surrounded by black leather and blue mist, before that unwelcomed feeling of being numbed from head to toe as the Rowdies fed off them both. Shaking his head slightly to clear the fog once they were done, Dirk sighed in relief to find that the blood had all disappeared, leaving only a silent Todd, bent over on his knees, eyes tightly shut.

"Todd?" greeted Amanda, kneeling down by his side so she could study her brother. Todd glanced up at her, his face crumpling once his eyes met hers.

"Sorry," he whispered, breaking into sobs. He huddled his arms tightly around his legs, burying his face into his own knees. "It's all my fault."

* * *

Half an hour later, and Dirk was sitting with Amanda on the couch, Todd, fast asleep from tears and exhaustion sandwiched between the two of them. Amanda had already sent the Rowdies away, promising to call them later.

"We went to visit your parents today… well… Todd did. He didn't want me to go in with him," Dirk explained. "He… he went to tell them… about everything."

She glanced up at him in surprise, her eyes then shifting to her brother's still form.

"I… I don't think it went very well," he continued, gulping when he recalled the way the door had slammed in Todd's face.

"I guess it's about time… that he told them the truth," she replied, her face expressionless, her eyes never leaving her brother. Dirk nodded slowly, resisting the urge to tell her all about how Todd still woke up in the middle of the night yelling that he deserved all the bad things that had happened, how Todd still skimped and saved every cent he could in a bid to one day pay his parents back, how Todd's eyes would light up whenever Amanda called because he was still so scared she was going to one day decide to never see him ever again.

"He doesn't let me call you," he said instead, unconsciously reaching out to lay his hand on Todd's arm. "Whenever he has an attack… he doesn't let me call you for help. Says he just needs his pills."

Amanda nodded, sighing as she brushed a stray lock of Todd's hair from his forehead.

"My brother's an idiot, Dirk. If _you_ need to, call me anyway, okay?"

Dirk nodded, a small smile on his lips.

"And Dirk, I'm glad he has you. I don't think he deserves you, but I _am_ glad he has you."

* * *

 **Thanks Dirk - two months later...**

* * *

 _"Give him back… I won't until you… argh!"_

Todd woke up with a start, taking a few moments to process that his heart wasn't really racing and that he wasn't in any blinding pain from hallucinated injuries.

"No no, give him back, give him… I won't do it until you give him… no!"

"Dirk?" he asked hesitantly, squinting in the dark towards the man lying beside him, who he now realised had been responsible for his waking.

"Dirk, wake up." He gently shook the man's shoulder, quickly pulling back his hand when Dirk yelped at his touch, struggling away under his covers.

"Where's Todd? Give him back, or I won't… no… I don't care… Give him back!"

"Dirk, I'm right here, you're dreaming... Dirk!" Todd shook him again, this time with more force. The other man finally woke with a loud gasp, tear filled wide eyes scanning the room until they landed on Todd's silhouette.

"Todd?" he uttered hesitantly, sitting up wearily.

"Yeah, it's me… you… I think you had a bad dream," supplied Todd.

"Oh… I… are you alright?" Dirk asked instead, waking more fully.

"What? I… I'm fine… I should be the one asking you that, Dirk? You seemed kind of… the dream… it sounded bad."

Piercing blue eyes scanned him, causing Dirk to glance away.

"Dirk… what did you mean when you said to give me back or you wouldn't…" Todd trailed off, eyes still searching. Dirk shook his head in reply.

"It was nothing, Todd… don't worry about it."

"But it wasn't nothing… it didn't sound like nothing. You were screaming and-" Todd's eyes suddenly widened. "It was something that happened at Blackwing, wasn't it?"

"Todd-"

"What did they do?"

Dirk sighed shakily, hands fidgeting as he glanced out the window.

"You didn't come back," he started after a moment's pause. "They didn't bring you back, day after day, and I couldn't really sense you. All I knew was that you were still alive. So I… I told them to bring you back or I would refuse to do their tests."

"And so they… they hurt you instead," concluded Todd, Dirk's screams that had woken him still fresh in his mind. Hesitantly, Dirk nodded.

"I just wanted you back."

Todd shook his head, glancing down to study the pattern on his covers.

"They did something, an operation… probably when they put the implant and all that in, I think. Everything was just a blur, doctors, heart monitors, needles… sometimes it hurt… but… I didn't even know how long it was. I was just so tired… and they kept telling me if I didn't cooperate they would take Amanda in… and then I remember waking up and you were there," Todd smiled at Dirk, despite the pain in his eyes, a tear now sliding slowly down his cheek. "You were holding my hand, telling me it was okay."

Sighing, Todd hastily swiped the tear away with his hand, before sliding back under the covers.

"Thanks, Dirk," he whispered.

Dirk gulped down the lump in his throat.

"What for?"

"For being there for me in Blackwing… For being here now…" Todd closed his eyes, yawning. "I know you always say that you were alone… before me…. But I think before you came… I was kind of alone too."

"I led you into a _nightmare_ , Todd. If it wasn't for having to rescue me, you would've never even been at Blackwing in the first place."

Todd opened his eyes again, glancing up at Dirk.

"Dirk, if it wasn't for you, I would also probably still be working at a job I hated, Amanda would have never met the Rowdies to get the help she's getting now, and I would still be living under a weight of lies I could never repay for."

He smiled softly, reaching out to grasp Dirk's hand for a moment.

"And I also wouldn't have a best friend," he finished, sighing contently before closing his eyes again.

This time, Dirk let the lump in his throat stay. Sliding back under the covers himself, he turned towards Todd, studying his friend's now sleeping form. Carefully, he reached across, pulling Todd into his arms. He half expected Todd to pull away, but smiled when instead, Todd snuggled closer.

* * *

 **Flying together - two months and three weeks later...**

* * *

"You have something to report, doctor?" asked Colonel Riggins, his arms crossed as he gazed over the canyon towards the setting sun.

Dr Waters nodded, steadying his own gaze over a different direction to the Colonel.

"Blackwing is finished, Colonel. After what happened, the damage, the lives lost, the committee want nothing to do with it. The program is being completely cleaned up and buried. We've all been reassigned or decommissioned."

"It is for the best," sighed Riggins, turning towards Waters.

"More than twenty years of work Colonel. You must have some regrets?"

"My proposal for Blackwing had always intended to identify, collect, and understand the subjects. Even though there are many things that I did for the sake of the program that I'm not proud of, what Wilson was going to do with it, I couldn't see that happen to it. I couldn't let that happen to the subjects… If it continued, it wasn't going to be the Blackwing we had been working towards all those years, doctor."

"I understand," Waters nodded, finally making eye contact with the Colonel. "But now what? We just let all the subjects go?"

Riggins shrugged, glancing up at the sky.

"You know, birds are amazing creatures, doctor. They somehow manage to migrate halfway across the world every year for survival, simply following sheer instinct to know where they have to go."

"... and we tag them to find out how far they actually go," Waters finished, a smile creeping into his lips.

"Exactly. To learn about them, we tag them… and then we set them free to see how far they go."

Riggins smiled, glancing down at the small business card in his hand, for a detective agency. A 'holistic' one.

"I have a feeling our birds will go far," Waters commented, catching a glimpse of the card. "Especially with Alpha and Icarus together."

Riggins looked at the doctor again.

"Something you want to share, doctor?"

The doctor smiled once more, this time confidently.

"Well, given your dedication to the program over the years, there is something that you may be interested to note… While Schultz was occupying herself with Alpha, she left most of the other research to me. In particular, that of Icarus."

The Colonel nodded briefly.

"Makes sense, you have been working with Icarus for years."

"Yes, and in all the years I've been working with him, I've never seen such astonishing results."

"How so?" The Colonel turned now to face the doctor fully.

"Well, Icarus has always been the subject with the most potential. However, that seemed to be all we could take from him, potential. Glimpses of brilliance, but never substantial enough to be significant. However, his performance over the past couple of months..."

Waters shook his head, as though still in disbelief.

"His abilities got stronger?"

"Yes, but more than just stronger, Colonel. While Icarus wasn't exactly forthcoming about everything he was capable of doing, not only was he performing perfect scores in all the preset tests, he was displaying capabilities that we weren't even aware he may have been capable of."

"Perfect scores?"

"Yes, he was essentially getting everything right, when he wasn't failing out of defiance of course."

"And were you able to determine the cause of this, increase in ability? Has he simply grown into them perhaps?"

Dr Waters shook his head again.

"No sir. While I noticed that Icarus had grown stronger since we collected him back, there was a very clear cut improvement in his test results at a very specific time range."

"That being?"

"Alpha, Colonel. Icarus's significant growth in performance started the very day Alpha was taken in. And as Schultz continued her research to build on Alpha's abilities, Icarus's performance only became stronger."

"So you're saying…"

"Colonel, I'm saying that while Schultz thought she was getting results with Alpha, she really should've been paying attention to the combined effects of Icarus _and_ Alpha… together."

* * *

 **New beginnings - three months later...**

* * *

"So… what do you think?" asked Todd.

Dirk stood before the simple door, his eyes fixed on the gold plaque in the middle.

Dirk Gently's  
Holistic Detective Agency

Dirk, Todd and Farah had spent the last few weeks furnishing the small office space they had rented. While they kept Dirk preoccupied with decisions on the furnishings inside, Todd and Farah had secretly organised the sign on the door as a surprise.

"It's… it's _fantastic_!" Dirk exclaimed, a giddy grin on his face. "It's just… _fantastic_!"

"I _was_ just going to go with brass, but Todd _insisted_ on gold," said Farah, shaking her head. "He even offered to let me take the extra cost out of his pay."

Todd ducked his head, a hint of blush filling his cheeks.

"I… I just thought with the new office and all… gold would be the right color-"

Dirk pulled Todd into his arms before Todd could finish, hugging him tightly.

"It's just simply _wonderful_ , Todd. I love it!"

Todd smiled, but cleared his throat awkwardly, pulling away from Dirk's embrace, the pink tinge on his cheeks growing a deeper shade of red.

"Guys, maybe you should uh… leave all that in your bedroom?" interrupted Farah, a teasing smile on her face.

"What?!" spluttered Todd, growing ever redder. "Farah, I can assure you that all we do in there is sleep-"

"Yes sleep. And maybe sometimes hold hands. Ooo, and there _was_ that time you woke up after that horrid nightmare and we cuddled all night because you were sobbing so hard and I was worried you'd work yourself up into another attack," interrupted Dirk earnestly. "Todd… are you alright, Todd?" he asked when the man seemed to go a shade of red that Dirk didn't even think was humanly possible and also sway a little on his feet.

"M'fine…" was the mumbled reply. "Let's just… cut the ribbon." He gestured at the neat ribbon that was tied across the door, waiting for Dirk's official entry into his new office.

"Wait, we can't yet. We have to wait for Amanda!"

Todd perked up at the mention of his sister.

"Amanda's coming?"

"Yes, I invited her," replied Dirk, grinning when they heard the familiar sound of a revving van from the stairs. "Oh, that must be her!"

Todd barely had time to cover his ears before the Rowdies came bounding up the hallway, Amanda leading the way.

"Yo, that looks sweeeet Icarus boy," greeted Martin, admiring the plague on the door.

"Hey little man," greeted Gripps, unceremoniously lifting Todd over his shoulder into a fireman's carry and spinning him around, only grinning when Todd yelped in protest.

"Let's get this party started!" yelled Vogel, smashing open the door to the new office with his bat, snapping the ribbon Todd had stuck across with a crack.

"Well, that's the ribbon cut," said Farah with a smirk, following the Rowdies as they roared into the new office space. Dirk followed as well, slightly shell shocked amidst the chaos. Gripps carried a struggling Todd in, still hoisted up on his shoulder.

 _SMASH!_

Vogel wasted no time in delivering a well placed swing towards one of the metal cabinets, denting it with his bat.

"Woah woah woah, no!" Farah scolded firmly when the other Rowdies lifted their implements to follow. They all paused at her halt, and Farah found herself suddenly greeted by five pairs of pleading eyes and pouting faces, Amanda included. She sighed, considering how it was even possible for the Rowdies to make such expressions, and trying hard not to calculate the expenses list racking up in her mind.

"Alright, fine. But only one object each, and the computer is off limits."

Amanda was the first to grin manically, bashing her bat into one of the chairs, making short work of bending its metal frame out of shape. Martin screamed before following suit with a large couch cushion, sending feathers flying, while Cross and Vogel both swung at a pot plant, dirt, leaves and pottery pieces joining the mess. Todd began yelping in panic when Gripps decided to pick up the chair Amanda had broken and throw it into a glass cabinet beside him, sending splintering shards of sharp glass everywhere. All of a sudden, the Rowdies paused, hungry eyes glancing eagerly towards Gripps and Todd, the latter's yelping having changed into more desperate screaming.

"Todd!" cried Dirk when he peeked out from behind his fingers to see Todd being impaled by millions of shards of broken glass. He rushed in a panic to his friend's side, though he had barely reached Todd when he felt the familiar dull feeling of having his energy sapped, blue mist being drawn from both him and Todd and into the Rowdies.

"Mmm… that was _delicious_!" an excited Vogel shouted out in exuberance as soon as they were done, burping loudly as though to prove his point. The other Rowdies made similar noises of satisfaction, grinning at the 'feast' they just had.

"Thanks Icarus and little hobbit, you guys really are the _most_ delicious!" grinned Martin. Dirk frowned indignantly while Todd just sighed in relief, still somewhat stunned from the attack and following quick relief.

"That wasn't very nice, guys," admonished Farah. The Rowdies glanced at her before all turning to Amanda.

"Sorry Farah, I promised them a meal." She shrugged sheepishly. "Dirk and Todd are their favourite apparently." She grinned, making her way over and helping her brother to his feet.

"I guess we can call it even now."

"Even?" Todd shook his head, confused.

"Sure, the score is not even close… but I've decided be generous." She smiled at him.

"Amanda… what… what do you mean?" asked Todd hesitantly.

"What I mean is, I've decided to forgive you, idiot."

Amanda had barely finished her sentence when Todd wrapped his arms around her, holding her tightly, his breath shaky as he quickly blinked away tears from his eyes. Amanda gently returned the hug, giving him a soft squeeze.

"But… why?" stammered Todd.

Amanda sighed, but allowed her brother to continue holding her.

"I spoke to Mum and Dad, and they told me what you've been doing, leaving money outside their door every week to pay them back… and I figure they're probably mad enough at you without me having to be. Plus... I kind of just want my brother back… I hate to say it, but I've missed you. You never call me anymore, only Dirk does, which I guess is kind of my fault since I haven't exactly been nice to you when you have called... Still... Anyway, I can see you've been trying to be a better person these past few months, so I'm going to give you a chance. Just promise you'll never lie to me again, okay?"

Arms still tightly wrapped around her, Todd nodded desperately.

"I promise," he whispered, his words choking at the back of his throat.

"I'll tell you if he does," Dirk added, grinning from his spot beside them, not even trying to stop the stream of emotional _happy_ tears sliding down his cheeks.

"I'm sure you will, Dirk," she grinned back, finally pulling away from her brother's embrace to face him.

"So… do you think you'll be joining us for thanksgiving? I _really_ don't want to spend all that time with Mom and Dad by myself while they mope about what a failure you are."

Todd gulped, still remembering the hurtful words from last week when he had gone to leave the usual amount of money at his parent's door and had been caught in the act by his father.

 _"You think you can just repay all the hurt you've caused with money now?"_

"Will… will they want me there?" he asked hesitantly. Amanda shrugged.

"To be honest, probably not. But regardless, you are still part of our family, and it _is_ thanksgiving."

Todd nodded.

"I… I guess I will try to be there… even if just to let Dad throw me out again, right?" He smiled awkwardly, using his hands to swipe away a quick tear. Amanda gently patted his shoulder.

"I'll see if I can convince Mom to keep you… it _is_ thanksgiving after all," she reassured him. "And hey, maybe you can bring Dirk. I'm sure Mom would love him."

Dirk's eyes lit up at the suggestion.

"Ooo, that's a wonderful idea, Amanda! I'd _love_ to meet your parents! And I've positively never celebrated thanksgiving before! Please, Todd?"

Todd sighed, shaking his head.

"Sure, why not. Maybe you'll even be annoying enough to distract my parents from my past transgressions long enough for me to enjoy a bit of Mom's cranberry sauce," he teased, smiling as he glanced at Dirk who was grinning as wide as a cheshire cat.

"Oh, I'm totally happy to be annoying enough to distract your parents," Dirk replied, making them all laugh.

"Wooo… enough talk, celebration time!" Martin suddenly interrupted, cracking open a can of beer and handing it to Amanda. "Come on Icarus, Farah and tiny, party time," he beckoned, handing Dirk, Farah and Todd a beer also, and ignoring Todd's "I'm really not that small!" retaliation.

"To Icarus's new joint" he yelled, holding his can out for a toast.

"To yummy energy," added Vogel, holding his out.

"To no more Blackwing!" cheered Cross.

"To letting us break things," added Gripps, grinning at Farah. Farah shook her head, smiling.

"To new beginnings," she added, looking to Dirk, Todd and Amanda.

"To freedom," said Amanda, glancing at her brother.

"To best friends," said Dirk, grinning at Todd.

Todd smiled back, glancing at everyone before him.

"To family, blood or otherwise," he added, raising his can.

THE END

* * *

 **Tag**

* * *

"So I'll see you at thanksgiving," said Amanda, giving Todd a final hug goodbye. The party had lasted a good few hours, but they ran out of beer and the Rowdies were itching to get going anyway. Todd nodded, hugging his sister back tightly. She eventually pulled away, giving him a final wave as she disappeared down the stairs.

Wandering back into the office, Todd found Dirk seated in his new plush leather office chair, running his hands over his new mahogany desk. Farah was over at the computer, cleaning up the files from their recent two cases. Seeing the mess of broken glass, feathers and pot plant still on the ground, Todd put himself to task, taking out a broom to sweep up.

"So Dirk," he began after a moment, seeing the man grinning smugly at him. "What's next? Any hunches?" he asked. Dirk closed his eyes, taking a deep breath.

"Hmm…" he simply hummed.

"Not yet," he responded after a moment. "Why don't you try, Todd?"

Todd let out a small laughed.

"Last time I tried, I felt the hunch to go to the bathroom, you got kidnapped by Blackwing and I had my first pararibulitis attack."

"Good point, Todd," nodded Dirk. "Please don't try… just keep… assisting. You're doing a brilliant job at the moment may I add?" He grinned, causing Todd to roll his eyes and resist the urge to throw his broom at the man. He was about to recommence his sweeping again when he noticed the feathers were blowing over to one side of the room. He barely had time to check if the window was opened when a strange cloud of dust suddenly appeared, swirling colours of pink and purple. Without thinking, he dived behind the desk to where Dirk was, Farah following suit. They watched, wide-eyed, as the swirl opened up into a portal of some sort, before disappearing just as sudden as it had appeared with a zap, leaving behind a white and brown pigeon. Before any of them could utter a word, the pigeon had made its way over to Dirk, dropping a tiny object before him.

"What is it?" Todd asked, Dirk picking it up into his hand.

"It's… some sort of shiny rock?" he mused, holding it out for Todd and Farah to see.

"It's… a diamond," supplied Farah. "Woah."

Dirk grinned, closing his hand around the diamond.

"Looks like we have a new case!"


End file.
